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Holding it Together is Hard...

So...I told you the end is near for My Teddy Bear and I.

Because I'm not a total bitch -- or maybe I should say because I don't want to be -- I'm putting it off by a week or so because he lost one of his best friends.

But it's getting harder and harder to hold this sham together.

Case in point -- my homegirl's birthday party. I was drunker than I needed to be on a work night, and I showed out. I was dancing with all kinds of boys -- mostly gay, but one is bi and wants me badly. With his well-toned physique and winning personality, I like him, too. Even though I know I won't go there, you couldn't tell it the way I was grinding up on him. Much to my chagrin, I let my affection-starved body take over.

Let's just say that it was NOT a good look -- especially since his friends were there.

He ended up coming home with us...and he didn't say a word about what went on. He also didn't make a move on me. At all. Ugh...

In other party news, I spoke to New Boo's best friend. In my drunken stupor, I asked him something that has weighed heavily on my heart since this madness began. I said, "Did he ever really love me?"

You KNOW I had to be drunk off my ass to ask such a thing.

He told me that NB had been in love with me, but he just didn't know what happened. I almost cried on the spot because I don't know, either.

He said that NB was doing much better and was actually living alone. He wanted to see him, but hadn't been able to catch up with him. I didn't have the heart to tell him that I'd seen him. It would've caused too much drama, and I'm not sure how much I can trust him.

Too much candy for a penny on every hand. But I've got to get all this mess straightened out ASAP pronto.

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