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Ah Ha!

I didn't do it. It wasn't entirely my fault. New Boo got a whiff of my new thought process and decided I wasn't worth the trouble. And what was it that rubbed him the wrong way?

I told him that I finally saw Jay-Z in a different light because I could see his grown man thought process. That made him mad because he thought I was "starstruck." Considering what I do for a living, that's the LAST thing on my mind. I told him that I liked the way he made up his mind to move away from the mistakes of his youth. His thought was that he could only do that because he had money.

On the contrary. If Jay still had the same mentality he had as a younger man, he might be rich, but he wouldn't have his family. New Boo wants to use anything as an excuse to be a bum. Not my problem, right?

So the foolishness that almost happened didn't. I'm thankful.

Now I'm recovering from fibroid surgery. This time, it was done right. My doctor said she got every one she saw, and the doctor assisting her said they pulled out tumors that were in clusters like grapes. All I know is that they cut me. I hadn't been cut before, but if it makes my life easier, I'm all for it.

I can't lie, though -- it was a trip for me. I won't bore you with the prelims that had me bugging out before the procedure, but I'll tell you that my recovery won't just be physical. A lot goes through your mind when your reproductive system is off. It makes you question a lot of what it means to be a woman.

To be clear, I have never had questions about my womanhood. My uterus is unused, but I'm still a woman. My ring finger is yet empty, but I'm a woman. If no other man thinks I'm worthy of his time, I'm still a woman. And I have to tell myself that I'm okay.

I dont' know if I really am, but I'm going to fake it until I make it.

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