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Lonely

I so want to be with someone. I want to be loved, cared for, caressed. That's what I really want. No matter how much I want to forget that, I can't.

I probably don't need to forget. I need to remember what it's like to be human -- no matter how much I want to forget.

I was finally able to walk away from New Boo. He made it clear that loving me wasn't a priority. Ever. And as much as I wanted to convince him that I'm a good idea and that he should want to love me, I never want to be with someone who doesn't know it for themselves. So I blocked his number and pray every day that my heart will forget him.

But I'm lonely. So lonely.

All I want is to be wrapped up in some man's arms. I want him to say that he loves me. I want him to tell me that he sees me. I want him to get me.

But before all of that...I want to love me. I want to see me. I want to get me. All of me.

I have to learn how to celebrate myself. It's a process that most people get early. Not me. I was taught that it wasn't a good idea to be seen. I know why. I was raised in the racist south where it was dangerous for a Black person to be talented or smart or anything that was better than the White people around.

I just want to be with someone. But not anyone. I want that one.

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