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When Breaking Up is Best

I got a reminder on my phone today. "The Day I Broke Up with My Teddy Bear," it said. It brought a smile to my face.

To be clear, I'm not proud of what I put him through. I should've broken up with him a year before I actually did. I was wrong to string him along as long as I did. I cheated on him and said hurtful things to him and generally did him dirty.

If the truth is ever really told, I probably never should have dated him. When he came into my life, I was way too broken to enter into any kind of relationship -- much less a romantic one with someone whose only attribute for me was an awe-like worship of me. He said the things my battered heart needed to hear. He just wasn't the one I needed to hear them from.

I was still deeply in love with New Boo. Even though he'd dogged me out and made me feel like a fraction of myself, I was so sprung that I couldn't see straight. If New Boo had tried half as hard as My Teddy Bear did, I would've taken him back -- flaws and all.

My Teddy Bear was the personification of everything that New Boo was not. He was loving, caring, and a very sweet boyfriend. But I couldn't appreciate him because he wasn't New Boo.

To my credit (not that I deserve much), I tried. I really did. But I wasn't met halfway -- or at least, not to my satisfaction. I could rehash My Teddy Bear's faults and shortcomings, but that's not what we're here for today.

I'm thankful for My Teddy Bear's presence in my life. He gave me a hard lesson in what not to do with someone I care about. And as quiet as it was kept, I really did care for My Teddy Bear. I just didn't love him -- not in the way he deserved.

I'm so glad I summoned up the strength to break things off with him. Even though I hurt him, I know I did the right thing. He deserved to be with someone who could appreciate his unique qualities and love him in a life-affirming way. I was not that person for him.

And I'm happy to report that he's engaged to a woman who'll actually attend Comic-Con with him. I wish them nothing but happiness.

As for me, I'm still single...and probably a bit lonely, too. But I'd rather be here than stuck in a relationship with someone just so I can say I have someone. That's not cool at all.

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