Skip to main content
My heart is sore. That's the only way I can describe it.

When I left you, New Boo hadn't come home. He finally made it in -- the next night. What he told me gave me more pause than I'm ready for. His explanation was that he'd done "something bad" -- I can't bring myself to say what -- and he didn't want me to see him that way.

Okay...I have to admit that I've NEVER dealt with that one. I didn't know what to do at all. For one, I realize that his issues have nothing to do with me because that's not the kind of person I am. Secondly, I love him, and I want to help, but this is so far removed from everything I know.

So that was bad, but I thought I'd be okay. Then he did something similar two nights later where he didn't come home until 2:30 in the morning. I was livid because we'd just had the same fight two days ago. His drunken philosophy was that he'd come home, so I should be okay. Never mind that he was drunk out of his mind.

We fought. And I don't mean just yelling and screaming. There was beating on doors, pushing and shoving. These are things that I just don't do normally, but I was taken outside of myself. Literally. The worst part -- he didn't even remember what happened the next day. He was like, "How did I end up on the couch?"

Now I'm really at a loss. I was so upset the day after that I left my house and stayed all day. I did it because my home felt like a war zone and I couldn't deal with it. The bad part? New Boo didn't even try to find out where I was. I came home at 2am, and he didn't even flinch. I'm guessing this is the way I'm supposed to react to what he does.

I don't want to live like this. I can't.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Life Matters: My Take on All This Madness

I am vexed beyond words about the situation with the two police officers being shot in Brooklyn. What bothers me is the blatant disregard for life -- on both sides. The man who felt like it was okay to take the lives of two police officers CLEARLY had no disregard for life because he took theirs and his own. And then there are the situations with Eric Garner and Michael Brown. Both situations show a disregard for life. For humanity, really. And it's painful to me that all of these families will have holes in them because someone felt like it was okay to take a life. There was a time in the not-so-distant past when people could fight and disagree -- and everyone went home to fight another day. When did it become okay to kill a person for whatever reason? As quiet as it's kept, by NOT indicting the police officers for killing those guys, it shows that life doesn't really matter. And it's easy to say Black life (and believe me, I do believe that it's open season ...
3 comments
Read more

The Baby...

I heard from The Baby today. The Baby is a young man I met at work. Nice enough guy...he's 29...new to the radio game...and tall and lanky like I like 'em. He showed up at our studios because he was caught in the throes of his format's contract negotiations. When I saw him, I was kinda speechless. Not because he was cute -- he was -- but because I NEVER see other chocolate faces at my job. The conversation we had was one part interesting, one part amusing, but completely charming. Even though my interest in him was purely professional, we exchanged numbers. See, in addition to working as a radio engineer, he also has the inside track to this weekly show I like. For me, that was it. We exchanged a few texts, but nothing major. Then, one day he said that we should hang out. Since I'm always down for an adventure, I accepted. We ended up spending the day at the beach. We had a good time, but there were some definite red flags for me... For one, he didn't tip ...
4 comments
Read more

Yeah...It's Like This

It's been a minute since we've talked. I can honestly say that I'm flummoxed. Let me catch you up... After a brief fling with a Bulgarian (which was kinda fun), he ghosted me. I don't know that I blame him after our one hotel stay when the black gel I use to cover up my gray edges rubbed off on the sheets. It was truly my Rudy Guiliani moment. I'm currently matriculating with a man I met at a bar/bookstore here in Dallas. I call him Barnes & Noble and I like him. However, he claims to be too wounded to entertain love in his life. I say "matriculating" because I can't really say we're dating. Although we see each other at least once a week, he's never made a real romantic move toward me. Ours is more of an intellectual situation where he keeps me in the loop of his life and I try to encourage him to give himself some grace. Several other things are wearing me out, but the final straw came this morning. The first post that came up on my Faceb...
Post a Comment
Read more