Skip to main content

The End...in Slow Motion

There's nothing uglier than watching someone you love NOT love you. What's worse is if they want to, but can't find it within themselves to do so. That's what I'm experiencing with New Boo these days.

After all we've been though the past month, it's been hard. I want it to work. He says he does, but I know it's a lie. At the end of the day, it's all about keeping a roof over his head for him. He doesn't have anywhere to go if I ask him to leave. What's worse, he can't afford to live alone. And he feels trapped. So he's been trying to make it work. And it's not working for him.

These past two days have been especially challenging for him. Last night, I busted him for changing his Facebook page -- and dropping me from it. He wasn't prepared for that at all. And my thing is this -- as much as I love him, I cannot deal with a liar and someone who doesn't want to be my friend. And that's exactly what that action proved. So I woke him up with the, "What are you going to do, because you can NOT stay here. New Boo I love. You I do not know, and I will NOT put up with a liar."

So NB did what anyone would do when faced with a possible eviction -- he groveled. And promised to try. And said that he loved me. But he doesn't really want to. So tonight he comes home, and he was so frustrated that he banged on the cabinet with his fist because the water was too hot. I've never seen him so agitated. And of course, he shut himself off from me. Again.

To make bad matters worse, I got an email titled, "12 Signs He Wants to Break Up with You." Of the 12 traits listed, New Boo was exhibiting 10 of them. And I told him. He's like, "I'm trying to do the right thing." But I'm like, "Right by whose standards? You're not happy. You don't want to be here, and it's no good for you to be unhappy because that does me no good." And he stood there and cried.

So it's completely over. I can't wait to see how this plays out.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The Baby...

I heard from The Baby today. The Baby is a young man I met at work. Nice enough guy...he's 29...new to the radio game...and tall and lanky like I like 'em. He showed up at our studios because he was caught in the throes of his format's contract negotiations. When I saw him, I was kinda speechless. Not because he was cute -- he was -- but because I NEVER see other chocolate faces at my job. The conversation we had was one part interesting, one part amusing, but completely charming. Even though my interest in him was purely professional, we exchanged numbers. See, in addition to working as a radio engineer, he also has the inside track to this weekly show I like. For me, that was it. We exchanged a few texts, but nothing major. Then, one day he said that we should hang out. Since I'm always down for an adventure, I accepted. We ended up spending the day at the beach. We had a good time, but there were some definite red flags for me... For one, he didn't tip ...

The Five Commandments of Houseguests

It's Sunday night, and I just put one of my girlfriends on the plane. She's a great person, but this weekend wore on me like none other. In her defense, she's in mourning. Her husband just died in September, and she's learning how to live again. They had been together since high school and now he's gone. That being said...there was NO excuse for the way she acted this weekend. Please understand...I'm not perfect. Never have been. And now that I'm 40, I don't feel the need to apologize for it. But NO ONE gets to make me feel inferior in MY house. Absolutely not! My house wasn't exactly in tip-top shape. I work two jobs, sing in the church choir, and try to work out with my trainer twice a week. So my house wasn't really ready for her. Then I realized that my mind wasn't ready for her, either. Even when we were in school, she wasn't the friend I could hang out with every day. More than that, she came with the very mentality th...

A Middle Aged Rant

I am single. I’ve never had a husband. I’ve never given birth to a child. I’ve never lived with a man over six months. I am 54. I’m not classically pretty. I’m overweight. I’m not very tall. My brother says I’m a unicorn. My friends are kind enough not to make me feel small. My mother mentions in passing that she wants me to find a husband. I try not to be sad about my state. I’ve lived a life that some would find enviable. I had my dream job, met and interviewed great people, made great friends, and traveled all over the world. I have a new career that I find oddly fulfilling. Men don’t always like that. Some of them are jealous because I’m not easily impressed. Some are jealous because I’ve done things they haven’t. Some are jealous because I’ve lived on both coasts. I don’t know what to do. I can’t change my life – not that I want to. I can’t change my past – not that I want to. I can’t change myself –not that I want to. I just want someone to see me, not the image I present. I want...