Excerpts from the Diary of a Diva

I'm realizing that comedy is hard. It's hard to make people laugh, true, but the real hard part is exposing the tragedies of your life. This blog has been my therapy for the last three years. Without it, I think I would've gone completely mad. Yet, for all that I release on these pages, there's so much more that I keep locked away in my heart. Furthermore, I don't tell many people about this blog. The majority of the people who read this have never met me. I don't even use my real name. Comedy is a genre that demands honesty. You have to be real to be likeable. And that reality can be too much for a private person like myself. I don't want to tell people about the ugly parts of my life...the loneliness, the anxiety, and the general malaise that makes up MackDiva. Now I'm considering a career that puts everything you think and feel on display. Am I crazy? What made me think I'd be okay to do this? If I'm completely honest with myself, ...

I really don't have time to post today, but I couldn't leave you hanging, dear reader. As I told you, my comedic debut was Tuesday night...and it was very cool. My set was tight, I wasn't as nervous as I thought I'd be, and the people laughed. It was magical to me, and I'm excited. Now for the really cool part. As a result of that performance, I now have a chance to perform at The World Famous Comedy Store in Hollywood! The show will be on Wednesday, July 27th at 8pm in The Belly Room. It's what's known as a "bringer" show. That means that I have to bring at least 5 people to get a spot on the bill. So, if you're in the LA area, feel free to come and support the Macklicious One in her comedic endeavors. Thanks, y'all! Now, back to your regularly scheduled programs.

Here I am, another Saturday night. In my house. Alone...and hungry. This time, I got my hair braided and had lunch with a friend. After that, I came home and promptly fell asleep. I'm a little nervous. In three days, I'm going to make my debut as a comedian. I started taking a class six weeks ago, and Tuesday is our "graduation." My teacher is a successful comedian, and he's given us all the tools we need to be great. And I've tried to come up with some funny stuff...and I think I've succeeded. However, I'd be lying if I told you that my nerves aren't shot. And the thought of getting up in front of people is wearing me out. Still...I'm excited. I'm doing something that most people just dream about. And like I said, I think my stuff is pretty funny. If you're in the Los Angeles area and are in the mood for a good giggle, you can come to our showcase at The Comedy Union, 5040 West Pico Blvd, Los Angeles, CA , (323)934-9300. It starts at ...

I found an article on the Huffington Post that perfectly summed up what I've been feeling about the whole children/marriage thing, and I wanted to share it with you. Check it out and tell me what you think. The only component she didn't address is the faith factor. I believe God intends for us to be married before we have kids. And before you go off the deep end, I'm not knocking single parents at all. My mother raised me solo, and I'm thankful for it. And I know a lot of wonderful mothers -- and fathers -- who are doing the best they can for the children. However, most of the single parents I know aren't that way by choice. Life circumstances made the situation necessary. For me, I want to have a family...not just babies. And I'm willing to wait.

I'm tired of being alone. There, I said it. It's Saturday night, and I'm watching reruns of Grey's Anatomy . (Sidebar: NOT the show to watch when love has avoided your life like the plague.) I originally planned to hang out with one of my platonic guy friends tonight at the concert of one of my favorite singers. (Another sidebar: NOT the kind of date you want when your bed is cold.) What ended up happening? The concert was sold out. And my early hair appointment, comedy class, and training session caught up with me...and knocked me out cold. By the time I woke up at 11:15, it was too late for dinner...dancing...anything. And now I'm hungry. I'm thinking about getting dressed and heading to an all-night diner. But there's nothing more pathetic than a lonely, single woman eating by herself in the wee hours of the morning. Sure, I could always put on my freakum dress with my FMQ pumps, and pretend that I'm waiting for someone to meet me. But who...