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Showing posts from March, 2017

The Status of Me

I have reached a crossroad in my life and I don't know what to do.

I love New Boo. I know that's not a revelation. I love this wounded, complicated, immature, unambitious man. Unless things are going to change with him, he will be in the same place in 10 years.

My Teddy Bear loves me. He is moving forward spiritually, educationally, and hopefully physically. He wants to include me in the plans he makes. He is a good man with a good heart. He's been hurt before, but he is learning how to live and love again.

As for me...I'm a flawed individual. I'm hurt, and I'm scared, and I don't know what's next for me. I want a family, and those dreams seem to be slipping away with each passing day. I don't know who to turn to, and I find myself doing destructive things. I'm not a drinker or a drug addict, but sleeping with New Boo is probably just as bad, if not worse.

I feel stuck at my job. It would be easy to stay if I were making enough money to live lik…