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Showing posts from July, 2008

Simple Question...Not-So-Simple Answer

They say that the grieving process is a long one, and I'm inclined to believe it. After almost five months, I guess I thought I was over the worst of it. However, something happened to bring it all back to me.

I was talking to one of my good friends from New York, and he asked me how my life was post-Granny. The question was a valid one, but it really threw me for a loop. Here's the deal -- everyone who's known me longer than a minute knows that I love my grandmother and that she's a big part of my life. My friends have always asked about her, and I've had a million Granny stories over the years. While most of them have never laid eyes on Granny, they know about her through me. Since I'm new to California, no one really knows anything about me, and they don't ask questions like that.

Now that Granny's gone, I really don't know how to live. It's like I'm still here, but my very core has been ripped out. Everything I've ever known has change…

Another Chapter in The Apartment Chronicles

If you've been reading this blog for any length of time, you probably know about my apartment woes. To update you, my landlord still has yet to finish fixing everything that's wrong with the place. While he finally got the bathroom floor straightened out, there's still the matter of the security door and the screen for my window. You would think that a man who doesn't have a job could take the time to get his money-maker together, but I guess that's too much to ask.

That's why I'm about to bounce. A friend of a friend of mine had a friend who was moving out of a studio apartment in Redondo Beach. Even though the place is smaller than my current one and my commute wold be twice as long, my rent will be about $200 less than I pay now -- with utilities included -- and I'll be a block and a half from the beach. The picture shows the view I'll see when I turn down my street every day. I think it's an even trade. I can't wait...

The Price of Bought Sense

My grandmother used to always say, "Bought sense is better than told." What she was saying was that some knowledge could only be "bought," or experienced. However, sometimes the cost is too great.

For the fourth time this year, my heart is heavy with the news of another death. My best friend's sister lost her son in the fifth month of pregnancy. Even though she lost a baby last year, this one was way more painful for her. Not only had she begun to show, but she had to go through full-fledged labor to deliver the child.

My friend, who is handling the funeral arrangements, found out today that a mother's life insurance doesn't cover her unborn child. That means that my friend and her family are going to have to come out of their pockets to cover the cost of burying this baby who never saw the light of day.

When a baby's on the way, everyone in the family is involved. Even the children. My friend's nephew was so excited about the prospect of having an…

To Cook or Not to Cook

I was having a discussion with a couple of friends about whether or not a woman should be required to cook for a man. My girlfriend and I pretty much agree that we have to be inspired to bust a move with the pots and pans. In this day and age where the men we've encountered feel entitled to certain privileges, we believe that he has to do more than just call us a couple of times and come over to kick it to earn a MackDiva-licious meal.

On the flip side, the brother we were talking to said he didn't really want to get serious with a woman whose idea of a culinary feat was tacos. We asked him whether he'd cook for his woman. His response? "Well, if I really wanted to impress her, I'd throw it down with my jerk chicken recipe." Upon further examination, we discovered that his need to impress was in direct correlation to some form of inspiration from the woman.

At the end of the day, both men and women want a lot of the same things. However, because we speak differ…

So Hard to Say Goodbye...

I started this blog for one reason and one reason only -- to get MY thoughts on paper. I've found it particularly therapeutic over the last few months, especially when Granny died. However, I've found myself censoring what I say now that I've decided to go public with it. As quiet as it's kept, I really don't want to offend anyone or hurt anyone's feelings. However, I have to stay true to this blog's purpose -- to help me express myself. With that said...

I'm going to have to end a relationship with someone. Ol' Boy is the friend of a friend of mine. When I met him, I really didn't feel any particular way about him. He seemed nice, but I looked at him as an acquaintance. When he found out I was new in town, he was like, "Oh, I could show you around." Since I didn't have a car, I didn't really think anything about giving him my number. I just figured he was being polite, and I really didn't expect to hear from him.

When Ol'…

Another Lazy Sunday

I'm sitting at cafe in Hollywood, where I'm taking advantage of the free Internet access. It's not too hot, but it is warmer than my usual spot, Starbucks. However, what this place lacks in frigidity it more than makes up for in fascinating scenery. I'm enjoying the view of the Hollywood Hills and the various and sundry aspiring actors/writers/etc. that are walking through the door.

For me, this is a chance for me to get used to being in the environment I really want to be in. I want to be one of those aspiring folks. I want to get to a place within myself where I can get over myself enough to fulfill my destiny. Places like this give me an opportunity to observe the life I was meant to live.

One of the things I'm struck by is the thinness of the people here. Most of the folks here probably weigh about two pounds a piece. While I know that I don't have a two-pound future in front of me, I've DEFINITELY got to get some of this weight off me.

This time l…

Goodbye, Good Friend

Singer and actor Christopher Simpson died on Saturday, June 29th in Dallas, Texas. The 36-year-old succumbed to injuries he sustained when he was hit by a car on June 19th. Although he appeared in several David E. Talbert plays and sang with John P. Kee, he's best known as the lead singer of Jesus is the Reason from Kirk Franklin & the Family's Christmas album.

My connection to Chris was more personal. I met him at the Gospel Music Workshop of America in 2000. Normally, I wouldn't have given him a second glance, but I had to when he told me that I, quote, "flowed in the ministry of sexiness." Prior to our meeting, I didn't even know there was such a ministry. He assured me that there was, and that I was a Bishop or at least an Elder in it.

We dated for a couple of months. Even though I was living in New York City and he was between Dallas and Philadelphia, we were close. I found him to be a charming and thoughtful man. Ultimately, though, we stopped seeing …

My Kinda Town

I took a trip to Chicago, and now I understand this city's appeal. My friends and I had such a good time. The weather was nice, the streets were clean, and the people are friendly. It was great.

This weekend marks the first time I've ever had a digital camera on vacation. I finally realized how important it is to document the times in my life -- not necessarily for me, but for my mom and my niece. I was a little sad thinking about how much Granny would have enjoyed looking at them, too. Now I feel like a budding photographer. Check out some of the shots I got.

This one is the Cloud Gate in Millennium Park. Natives call it "The Bean." I found out about it when my friend, Angela, and I were buying postcards at one of the many Walgreen's on Michigan Avenue. I picked up a picture of it, and this lady started talking about it. It was such a cool thing, and it was cool that the woman took time out of her busy schedule to share that with us.

This shot was very interesting …