Skip to main content

Another Lazy Sunday

I'm sitting at cafe in Hollywood, where I'm taking advantage of the free Internet access. It's not too hot, but it is warmer than my usual spot, Starbucks. However, what this place lacks in frigidity it more than makes up for in fascinating scenery. I'm enjoying the view of the Hollywood Hills and the various and sundry aspiring actors/writers/etc. that are walking through the door.

For me, this is a chance for me to get used to being in the environment I really want to be in. I want to be one of those aspiring folks. I want to get to a place within myself where I can get over myself enough to fulfill my destiny. Places like this give me an opportunity to observe the life I was meant to live.

One of the things I'm struck by is the thinness of the people here. Most of the folks here probably weigh about two pounds a piece. While I know that I don't have a two-pound future in front of me, I've DEFINITELY got to get some of this weight off me.

This time last year, I was the smallest I've been in my adult life. I was working out like a fiend and eating right. While my money still wasn't where I needed it to be, I had paid my major bills off for the summer and it felt good.

This year has been the total flipside. Between Mom's seizure in December, Granny's death, and this apartment fiasco, I'm doing good not to need a padded cell. My eating habits are atrocious, and I can't really remember the last time I stepped foot inside a gym.

All that madness will change tomorrow. I'm getting myself back together. Even though I'm not out of the woods yet, it's time for me to get with the program that'll get me back to my old self. When it's time for my close-up, I want to be ready.

First thing on the agenda: hitting the gym at 6:00am for spin class. Normally I'd go at 9:00, but my full-time schedule kicks in and I'll have to be on my grind earlier. Because I know myself, I know it's better for me to workout in the morning, and spin is the only class offered at that time of day. So I'll pedal myself into shape. Again.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

On Barack, the Nomination, and Black Love

I'm so excited about Barack Obama! I know I'm just joining the teeming millions when I say that, but I think something this big is worth repeating. Never before in the history of our country has a Black man been in a position to lead the free world, and it feels good. I'm so glad that I've lived long enough to see this day.

Beside the fact that Barack is a great candidate for the Democratic party, I'm moved by his relationship with Michelle. Not since The Cosby Show have we seen a successful Black couple who have a genuine and sincere love and respect for one another. What makes their relationship so special is that it's real -- not the product of someone's imagination.

I obviously don't know Michelle Obama, but I want to grow up to be just like her. I love the fact that she doesn't NEED Barack. She's strong, smart, and successful in her own right, yet secure enough to fall back and be supportive of her man. That's something that all y…

Out of Time

Time. You always think you have more...until you don't. I'm there.

I just left the doctor, where we discussed my fibroid. She said it was huge. So huge, in fact, that she couldn't get it all. If there's a need for another surgery, it'll be a hysterectomy.

I want babies. I want to be someone's mother. I also want to be someone's wife before I become someone's mother. And therein lies my dilemma.

It would be stupid for me to have a baby with My Teddy Bear. That's the reality of my life right now. But it would be even stupider to have a child with New Boo. Not only does he not want any more babies, he does't take care of the ones he already has. I would be an absolute idiot to attempt procreation with him. And as quiet as it's kept, I'm not interested in raising a child alone. I want my baby to have a mother AND a father.

So here I am, a 46-year-old woman who's run out of time.

My Personal Superhero

My Teddy Bear continues to prove that he loves me in ways I never thought about.

As I told you before, I've been dealing with health issues. It's not pretty at all. I won't go into details, but let's just say that it's messy and leaves me weak sometimes. Weaker than I'd ever want to admit, actually.

Anyway, a friend of mine was coming to visit and I was trying to get my house ready. I managed to clean my bedroom and the bathroom before MTB came over. All I had to do was get the living room and kitchen together. But my body wasn't cooperating at all. I was in so much pain that I laid it down.

I woke up the next morning in a complete mess from my issue. After I got up to clean myself up, he says to me, "Go lay down. I'm gonna finish up for you." I wanted to argue, but I couldn't because I was in too much pain.

That man cleaned my apartment. All of it. Swept AND mopped my floors and did all my dishes. And did it with a smile.

Just thinking ab…