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Showing posts from 2008

Looking Back and Forward -- A New Year's Post

We've finally come to the end of 2008. If you're like me, I'm sure the year has gone by quicker than you thought it would. In fact, I'm actually pretty shocked at how fast we've come to this day. Looking back, this has been one of the most prolific years of my life. Here are a few notables:

1. Granny died. I never thought I'd face a year without her. I miss her terribly, but I know she's in a better place and that I'll see her again.

2. I moved -- twice! For the most part, I'm a pretty stable girl. Since I hate moving with a passion, I usually stay wherever I am. I lived in my Dallas apartment for three years, and my New York apartment for six. The fact that I've only been in Los Angeles 23 months and have already had three different apartments says something about this place.

3. I've been celibate all year. Since deciding that love -- or at least a very strong like -- would be a prerequisite for spending any kind of naked time, I've not kn…

My Second Cali Christmas

I’m so glad that I decided not to spend my Christmas alone. Normally, when I don’t go home, I stay in my apartment trying not to cry while celebrations go on all around me. This year, however, I was determined not to be depressed – especially since I already knew that the potential for depression was great. I chose to spend Christmas Eve at the home of one of my new friends. It was the best thing I’ve ever done for myself. In addition, I went to another friend’s house for Christmas dinner. Again, I don’t think I could’ve done better.

Now I understand why it’s so important to spend time with friends and family. It makes the crazy days seem not so bad. In spite of being in a city I’m not fond of with people I don’t really know, I’m really happy about the way this day went. Hope your holiday was as wonderful as mine…
Christmas is one of my favorite times of the year, but there's very little joy for me. With all the deaths I've seen this year -- two since Thanksgiving alone -- I'm really not in the mood to be festive. My current job situation has caused me to put my love of giving on hold. I want to be excited, but I'm not. I'm trying not to miss Granny, but I do.

Actually, I thought I was doing pretty good. I know that she's gone, and even though I don't like it, I'm coming to grips with it. This evening, however, I was reminded of my loss as I spoke to a friend of mine. She was telling me about this crazy message her mother left on her phone. Even though the matter ended up being minor, her mother made it sound like it was completely urgent. It reminded me of the time Granny left this message for me -- "Baby, this is Granny. Your mother is missing." Let's just say Granny had a flair for the dramatic.

I was giggling along with my friend when I said, &quo…
There's a line in the movie Spanglish in which the lead character -- a Mexican immigrant who works as a servant for a suburban white family -- asks her young daughter if what she wants out of life is to become something so much different than her mother. That's the sum total of my thoughts after attending my cousin's memorial service yesterday.

My grandmother was born in rural East Texas in 1911. Her father was a preacher, and I never knew what her mother did. They owned a peanut farm -- which was almost unheard of for Black people -- and had 12 children. The two oldest children died before the other ten were born, and everything was cool. Unfortunately, the good times didn't last, and by the time my grandmother was 13, both of her parents were dead. The kids got separated, and Granny and Aunt Mabel ended up being raised by her father's sister and her husband.

I'm not really sure what kind of conditions she dealt with as far as poverty and stuff, but I know that…

How Do You Solve a Problem Like...?

For some people, the idea of being in a relationship is wonderful. After years of dating, the thought of being committed to a someone makes them absolutely giddy. There was a time in the not-so-distant past that I thought I was one of the those people. So why am I having an absolute fit now that the possibility is presenting itself?

Let me explain. For the past few weeks, I've been entertaining Mr. Wright. I say entertaining because there's really not too much dating you can do when you're bi-coastal. He's been talking about how much he loves me, how he can't live without me, and how he wants to spend his life with me. Since I really don't believe him, it's okay. Basically, I've been basking in the attention. (Call me crazy, but boredom will cause you to do a lot of things.) However, he changed the game last night when he told me that he was going to tell his children about us. Again, I don't really believe him, but he took it a step further when he …

Family

What does family mean to you? For some of us, a family is a group of people connected by biology. However, as we grow older, shared DNA takes a back seat to shared experiences. The people we love may look like us, but it’s more common for them to be like us in temperament, beliefs, and the like. While families may not always agree with each other, they always disagree in love.

I’m sharing this with you because, yet again, I have lost a member of my biological family. This time, the Grim Reaper claimed my cousin, the child of my mother’s brother. He was 47-years-old – the same age as my mother’s sister when she passed away in 1986. I knew him, but I hadn’t actually seen him since I was 13.

I wish I could say I was hurt, but I can’t. Thanks to distance and indifference, we barely knew each other. Even though he and I share a grandmother, he and his brothers and sister didn’t bother to acknowledge Granny’s life or death. That hurt me more than this does.

Despite these feelings, I will atten…

Game Over...

As some of you know, I'm currently working with children. I teach radio broadcasting to kids between the ages of ten and 17 at a Boys & Girls Club in Los Angeles. Even though my job can get nerve-racking at times, I enjoy the moments of clarity in their eyes.

Lately, however, work hasn't been a joy. About two months ago, a pipe burst in the bathroom next to my second-floor studio. Since it happened on the weekend, it went on long enough to flood out the basement. Even though the water didn't make it into my room, the fumes generated from the flood have rendered the building uninhabitable for the next three months. That means that I have to work in other areas of the club.

Please understand, working with children is an entirely new experience for me. I'm learning to like it, but it has to be on my terms. I never have over three kids at time when we're on the air. During auditions, the maximum number of kids I've had is nine. Now that my room is off-limits, I&#…

Ladies & Gentlemen, I'm Back

Even though I don't have a steady man in my life right now -- outside of Jesus, that is -- there are several men that have come through lately. Normally, I just entertain them for the moment and keep it moving. However, as evidenced by previous posts, two of them really got to me. Mr. Perfect always does because he's, well, perfect; and Mr. Wright because his games have been quite inviting.

However...I'm back now.

I recently celebrated my 38th birthday, and after reflecting on the current state of MackDiva, I realize that while I want male companionship, I'm not able or willing to sacrifice my dignity to have it.

No matter how much I want Mr. Perfect to love me, he does not. It's not a bad thing -- it's just the truth. He likes me, he likes the things we do when we're together, but at the end of the day, that's it. And I have to stop wanting more from him because it's not gonna happen.

As for Mr. Wright, let's just say that there's always a reas…
I had to laugh when I read Janelle's post because it was almost like she got inside my head and wrote my words. I, too, have been writing but not publishing. My reasons were much like hers in that I wasn't ready to reveal certain things. However, I'm at a place now where I'm going to have to share.

In order to tell this current story, I'm going to have to go back to another time and place in my life...

The year was 2000, and I was living in the Bronx. My hairdresser, my only friend at the time, had invited me out to kick it after my appointment. The plan was to have drinks and hit a club. So there we were, two beautiful women taking in the nightlife in New York City. We hit the bar, stayed for a while, and headed to the club. Even though my friend is tall and gorgeous, she wasn't giving the men any play because she's happily married.

I, on the other hand, was just trying not to look like wallpaper in her presence. At some point, we got separated as she fended …

Lions and Tigers and Bears (Oh My!)

I usually leave the entertainment-type stuff to my girl, Tiffany, but this song -- Lions and Tigers and Bears by Jazmine Sullivan -- really touched me. How many times have we thought something similar about a romantic situation?

I'm not scared of lions and tigers and bears,
But I'm scared of loving you.
I'm not scared to perform at a sold-out affairs,
But I'm scared of loving you
Am I the only one who thinks it's an impossible task?
Why won't it last? Is that too much to ask?
Why do we love love, when love seems to hate us?

Even though this Philly native is only 21, her experience in music is vast. Ms. Sullivan got an early start as a Apollo Amateur Night contestant, and she's been going ever since. She was signed to Jive Records, but got dropped before anything was released. Her singing and songwriting skills were honed by working with Missy Elliot on Fantasia's Free Yourself album and by writing Say I for Christina Milian. By the time she got her solo deal wi…

Who am I Fooling?

I wish I could say I was strong enough not to be moved by a man. Unfortunately, I can't. Yet again, I am in a state of emotional limbo after speaking to Mr. Perfect.

This time, I'm the one to blame. After telling one of my girlfriends about MP, I called him this evening because I wanted to hear his voice. Thanks to the three-hour time difference, I caught him in bed. Even though I offered to let him get his rest, he said he'd get up to talk to me. Mistake number one.

Mistake number two began as we talked about some situations at work. One of the things I've always loved about MP is that we're in the same industry and we can talk about our careers. It's all about having a man relate to me vertically instead of just horizontally.

The final faux pas occurred when I told him that I'd be in his city in a couple of months. I had been debating with myself on whether or not I'd let him know I was coming. All that faded when I heard his sleepy little voice. His res…

And So it Begins...

As America basks in the glory of a Barack Obama presidency, there are still those who seek to tarnish this great nation. The Fort Worth Star Telegram reported several incidents that showcased the intolerance of some people. I'd love to say that I'm surprised, but I'm not. When you grow up in Texas, there are just certain things you expect.

Those incidents notwithstanding, the election of Barack Obama ushers in a new day in our country. Yes, there are those whose collars have dropped low enough for us to see the color of their necks. But I now know that there are more people in this country who are interested in the content of a person's character than the color of his or her skin.

Speaking of the color of Obama's skin, he essentially imbodies what America is. He's got White blood and African blood. This man is, as he puts it, a mutt. And he's our mutt. He's a virtual melting pot of culture, and he's smart, articulate, and classy beyond belief. We…

Random Election Thoughts

I'm so extremely proud of our country. We did something I didn't think we would do -- elect a Black man as president. I could wax poetic on what it means to me, an African American, to see Barack Obama in the White House, but you already know it means a lot. I could say a few words on how wonderful it'll be to have a real live Black family in Washington, but again, that's already been done to death. In fact, there's really nothing I could add to the discussion that hasn't been heard before.

However...that won't stop me from weighing in on the most important event in my lifetime. Here are a few election quickies from the mind of MackDiva:

1. I was so proud of John McCain. Even though his own presidential dreams have been utterly and completely dashed, he was still very classy and eloquent in his concession speech. I also believe he meant what he said about working with President Obama. What struck me most was that if the John McCain of last night had been on t…

Yes We Did!

After almost two years, what we've been working for and waiting for has finally come to pass. Barack Obama is the next president of the United States. While I'd love to wax eloquent on this historic day, I'm too emotional right now. In fact, the only reason I'm posting is that I wanted to have a record of what was done and when.

For my family members who didn't live to see this day...
For the children I hope to have one day...
For Black people and White people and Asian people and Latino people...
For America...

We did it!

A Little Pre-Election Day "Humor"

If you think that America is a progressive nation, think again. One of my good friends overheard the following conversation between two White women while standing in line at a grocery store in Texas:

Woman 1: You know, we just can NOT let that Democrat get in the White House.
Woman 2: Well, why not? I was really considering him.
Woman 1: Do you know what would happen if he got into the White House?
Woman 2: Well, no. What?
Woman 1: He's gonna put us in White Slavery as payback for what we've done to his people!
Woman 2: Uh, you realize his mother was White?
Woman 1: That don't matter!
Woman 2: Well, I tell you what, I just won't vote for McCain.
Woman 1: Okay, good.

Discuss among yourselves...

Wow!

Just when I thought I couldn't love Barack Obama more...
Just when I thought I'd shed all the tears I could shed...
Just when I thought the man couldn't thrill me more...he aired the 30-minute commercial. And all I can say is...you guessed...WOW!

If there are any undecided voters after seeing last night's infomercial, there's really nothing else to say. Obama laid out his economic plans and punctuated them with real-life stories. He said he wanted to unify our nation. He said he wanted to make health care and education affordable for all Americans.

What more do you need?

Not only that, Barack showed his human side when he spoke about his family. His mother who, on her deathbed, was more worried about how she was going to pay her medical bills than how she was going to get well. His grandparents -- the grandfather who fought in Patton's war, the grandmother who worked in the factories while he was gone. And we saw his children, Malia and Sasha, the girls he speaks to…

Just a Thought...

Okay, I know my mind is a dark and twisty place, but I think some things beg further analysis. With that said, here's what I want to know...

Why are there no love songs about ugly people?

This thought came to me several years ago while listening to Monica's Angel of Mine. The line was, "Boy I love you 'cause you are so fine, Angel of Mine." What does being fine have to do with being lovable? If you're not fine, are you then regulated to a loveless existence? And what, pray tell, constitutes "fine?"

Maybe there's a conspiracy going on between the music industry and the fitness and beauty industry. If it were possible for unfortunate looking people to be adored, would they stop pursuing the perfect look? Would gyms go out of business because all of the people who would normally be working out would start spending more time gazing into their lovers' eyes? If Nappy is the Texture of My True Love's Hair was at the top of the charts, would sister…

Is It Just Me...

...or does this election season seem like the longest one in history? Can we just go ahead and vote already?

Don't get me wrong, it's an exciting time in our history, but enough is enough. Let's just vote and get it over with.

Okay...I'm stepping off my soapbox now...

When Mavericks Collide...

Maverick (noun) -- a lone dissenter, as an intellectual, an artist, or a politician, who takes an independent stand apart from his or her associates.

Throughout this presidential race, John McCain and Sarah Palin have described themselves as mavericks, the kind of folks who'll take on Washington as we know it. They've promised to bring the kind of change we need as a country, etc.

Of course, we all knew that it would be a matter of time before those two mavericks stood apart from each other, and unfortunately for them, that time is now. According to an article on CNN.com, America's Favorite hockey mom is "going rouge." Apparently, Sarah's going off message and voicing her own opinions at this crucial time in the election process. Furthermore, McCain's aides are describing her as a diva who doesn't listen to anyone.

Apparently Palin realizes that she and McCain won't win, and she's doing what she can to salvage her image in light of what she deeme…

Life, Love, and Complications...

Just when I think I've got things under control, something happens to turn them upside down again.

I spoke to him last week. We were talking about radio and getting pretty riled up about the state of things in the industry. After I went on a particularly brutal tirade, he said, "See, this is when I miss you the most. I miss your insight and intellect."

Why did he have to say that? Even though I want more from him, I love our friendship. It allows me to pick up the phone whenever I need a word of encouragement, and I get a side of sincerity and honesty to boot. When he calls me, I always end up with a goofy grin that I can't seem to shake. He's the kind of guy a girl could really get used to.

Granted, I miss him so much my heart hurts. I love him more than I should, and I'd take that midnight train to wherever he wanted me to if he just said the word. Unfortunately, we're on opposite sides of the country, which is not conducive to the kind of relationship we …

In the Mood to Share...

I wrote this back in July, but I wasn't ready to bare this much of my soul. However, I've changed my mind. Enjoy!

No matter how I try to deny it, there's a part of me that wants to be loved by someone. Actually, not just someone. By my Mr. Perfect. I know who he is, but he has no clue about me.

He called today. Told me I had crossed his mind. I'd like to believe his thoughts wandered to me when he heard a love song. In my perfect world, his memories of laughs we'd shared and talks we'd had would induce a pang of longing in his heart.

Unfortunately, I don't rate that way with him, and it's painful to know that. All he remembers is the sex. Don't get me wrong -- it was VERY good sex -- but I want him to remember the intimacy we shared. I want him to feel what I felt when I was in his arms. When he held me, I caught a glimpse of what my life could be like.

Sometimes I think I want too much. But why shouldn't I want to be loved, cared for, and adored? I…

Another Question of the Day...

One of the reasons I read other blogs is to get other points of view. Sometimes, like today, I feel the need to completely bite from their thoughts because they make sense and I like them.

Having said that, My American Meltingpot, posed an interesting question the other day...

Would it make a difference in our presidential election if Barack Obama's White mother was alive and able to campaign with her son?

Something to think about, right? I have my own opinions -- and I'll share them -- but I wanted to hear what you thought about it first.

***UPDATE***

As I'm sure you've heard, Barack is taking a break from campaigning to be with Madelyn Payne Dunham as she struggles through what could be her final transition. He spent a great deal of time with his 86-year-old mother's mother -- a woman who stepped in and helped raise him -- and he obviously loves her dearly. Let's be honest -- with his history of level-headed thinking, you know it must be important for him to leave…

My Question of the Day

Even though I said I wouldn't worry about it, that guy STILL hasn't called. It's been two weeks since he took my number. One of my friends told me that I shouldn't really be that concerned since he's crazy. I know she's right, but here's my question...

Why take my number if you have no intention of using it?

It's not like I offered it to him. HE asked ME for the math. If he didn't intend to add to my equation, why did he bother to extrapolate my digits? If you ask me, he could've kept it moving.

Okay...that's all I have for now. Stay tuned...

Thank you, Janelle!

My dear friend, Janelle, has tagged me for what she calls a social revelation. Basically, it works like this:

Link back to the person who tagged you
Mention the rules on your blog.
Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours.
Tag 6 following bloggers by linking to them.
Leave a comment on each of the tagged bloggers blogs letting them know they've been tagged.

It's funny...when I was initially deciding whether blogging would be a good idea for me, Angie sent me a similar missive. I didn't have a blog at that time, but I did the exercise and kept it for myself. My plan was to revisit what I'd written before. Unfortunately, thanks to a cross-country move and other issues, I couldn't find it. Now I'll be forced to do it again. Oh well. Here goes...

1. I love obituaries. I know it sounds a little morbid, but the writer in me is fascinated by the possibility of summing up an entire life in three to five paragraphs. What do you scrap? What do you keep? What's important e…

On Making Love...

When I was younger, I used to wonder what the term "making love" meant. I mean, was love something you could mix up and serve with tea? What do you put in love? Where do the ingredients come from? If TV was to be believed, love was as common as food. Therefore, was there a difference between the homemade kind and the kind you could get at the drive-in? It was all so confusing then.

Fast forward to now. Even though I'm well aware of the terminology of sex, it's still just as confusing. I mean, does everyone have to be in love for the physical expression to be called "making love?" If we're not in one accord with our feelings, what do we call the joining of our bodies? Boning? Screwing? I would use the more vulgar terms, but this is a family blog.

For the time being, I'm putting my need for physical gratification on hold. Don't get it twisted -- it's hard for me to do this. However, because I want more than a pretty mess on my dress, I'm wai…

My Take on "Religulous"

I went to see Bill Maher's new movie, Religulous. For those of you who haven't heard about this documentary, Maher looks at the state of the world's religions.

Let me preface my comments with this -- I went into this film knowing that I would probably be offended. Since I know Maher's stance on religion -- he's totally against it -- I figured it would be something that my unapologetic Christian sensibilities wouldn't like. That being said, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. In his defense, he didn't just bash Christians. He was equally awful to the Muslims and Mormons, too. What made me want to find Bill and slap him in his face was that he took the extremists of each religion and made examples of them.

Look, everyone has a right to believe what they want. Just because I know in my heart that Jesus is the way, the truth, and the light, I'm not gonna bash you for thinking otherwise. The way I see it, God gave us all free will. Who am I to go ag…

A New Possibility?

If you've been reading EFTDOAD for any length of time, you've probably noticed that I haven't really talked about a man. By that, I mean a man of my own. What's really sad is that there hasn't been a man in my life for the entire time I've been writing this blog. I hate that. However, things may be looking up for me.

One of my good friends hosts a forum in Los Angeles called "Battle of the Sexes." This monthly event consists of guys and girls submitting questions anonymously to the moderators, with the answers being discussed in an open forum. It can get quite rowdy, and the discussions are always enlightening. For most of us, it's the first time we've really heard what members of the opposite sex think. I've been attending these Battles for a few months now. Even though I'm not a fan of mindless rhetoric, it's cool to be around some single people who can think and put together coherent sentences.

The last couple of times I've go…

What Was John McCain Thinking?

I watched last night's debate between Senator Joe Biden and Governor Sarah Palin. Like most people around the country, I only watched to see if she was going to either fall on her face or make a complete and utter idiot out of herself. While she didn't do the former, she was all over the latter.

Sarah didn't answer a single, solitary question posed to her by moderator Gwen Ifill. Not a one. She pretty much spouted the same erroneous rhetoric from the campaign trail, and it was tired. She must not read the newspaper, watch TV, or have access to a computer because most of her talking points about Barack have already been disproved by the "mainstream media" that she hates so much.

Speaking of Palin's disdain for the media, her clear disrespect of the debate process was obvious to me when she told Ifill that she wouldn't be answering the questions like they wanted her to. In addition, Sarah was quite nasty -- dare I say bitchy -- in the way she spoke to Gwen. W…

The Bubba Backlash

When Barack Obama started running for president, I was afraid for him. Like most Black people -- especially those of us who were raised in the South -- we knew firsthand how dangerous it could be for a Black person who dared to challenge his or her station. During the primary season, some older Black people said that a vote for Obama would guarantee his death.

Fast forward to now. Thankfully, Barack survived and is now poised to be the next president of the United States. Now my fears have shifted. After hearing about the latest racially charged incident in Texas, I'm afraid of what will happen to me once the Obamas paint the White House black.

In America, Black people have been famous for our reactions to things that we consider unfavorable -- think the riots after the Rodney King verdict. However, we've never seen what happens when White people are upset. When Barack wins -- and as far as I'm concerned, there's no other choice at this crucial time in history -- what wi…

Making Goodbye Easier...

I'm a firm believer in honesty. I like the idea of not having to remember any lies. While I don't say everything that's on my mind, I get a kick out of knowing where I stand with everyone and having them know where they stand with me. Maybe that makes me crazy, but it's certainly what makes me who I am.

Remember the guy I told you I was going to have to give the boot? Well, I need to update you on that situation. I let him know -- in no uncertain terms -- that there would be no penis between us. He said he'd back off, and I was glad. Now our relationship is strictly professional. He hits me up when he needs someone to produce segments, and he's been letting me go along when he conducts interviews for the documentary he's filming. Of course, I can tell that he still would like to weasel his way into my naked time, but he's playing it cool. It's a good thing, too, because it's never gonna happen.

With that being said, I was still shocked to find out…

Things That Make Me Say, "Hmm..."

1. Did anyone see how political the Emmys were this year? I know that Hollywood likes to comment on the state of the world, but even I winced a few times at how hard they were going at it. If John McCain was counting on getting any Tinseltown votes, they gave him a resounding "NO" Sunday night.

2. Why are the polls so close between Barack Obama and John McCain -- especially when it's obvious that the two men are so different? Are there really that many people satisfied with our country the way it is? Call me crazy, but if McCain voted with George W. Bush 90 percent of the time, it's probably safe to say that he'll continue with the flawed policies of the current administration.

3. Campbell Brown is my new hero. Don't get me wrong -- I thought she was great at NBC, but she's absolutely shining at CNN. I thought she was great when she took a McCain staffer to task when Sarah Palin was first nominated. Now, her take on the sexist way Alaska's governor has…

Just Do It!

If you're regular reader of EFTDOAD, you know that I attended the Democratic National Convention in Denver. While I didn't have an official reason to be there, I thought it was important to be a part of such a historical moment. Fortunately, I went with three of the most well-connected ladies I know, and we were able to finagle our way into Barack Obama's acceptance speech. Call me crazy, but I never once thought I would go there and NOT get into the speech. I also never thought that it was far-fetched for me to go. I recently found out that I may have been the only one.

When I returned to my wonderful teaching job, I was recounting my experiences to my boss. As we talked about it, another co-worker walked in on us. I resumed my story, and the co-worker said, "You when to the DNC? How did you get to go?" I gave him that "are you kidding me?" look and said, "Uh, I bought a ticket and I went." His next question was, "Did you get into the spe…

My Take on "The Vixen Diaries"

I love to read. When I was a kid, I was always getting busted in the bathroom with a book. I like exploring other people's worlds via the written page. It's a habit I've managed to maintain despite many time constraints. Some of my favorite authors include Bernice McFadden, Eric Jerome Dickey, Maya Angelou, and E. Lynn Harris.

Having said all that, I took the time to read The Vixen Diaries by Karrine "Superhead" Steffans. (Before you start to question my sanity, I was doing research for an interview.) This second tome is a feeble attempt to extend the 15 minutes of fame afforded her by her first book, Confessions of a Video Vixen.

While Steffans' first book was a celebrity-infested memoir, The Vixen Diaries delves more into the psyche of a woman who would allow herself to be used by men. She's a bit more reflective this time around, but still unapologetic about her experiences. Ms. Steffans still hasn't exorcised the demons that drove her to participate…

No 9/11 For Me

It's the seventh anniversary of the September 11th terrorists attacks. People across America are commemorating this solemn occasion, and it's all over the news. It's not something I look forward to.

I was in living in New York at that time. Since I worked the graveyard shift, I was already home when those idiots decided to fly those planes into the Twin Towers of the World Trade Center. It was the one time I was grateful for my crazy hours.

The experience was so surreal that I didn't even realize how serious it was. It looked like a really bad movie as I watched it on TV. Even though I saw the towers collapse before my eyes, I didn't realize the gravity of the situation until a friend from Georgia called to find out if I was alright.

My family in Texas was worried, but I had already spoken to my mom and she let everyone know that I was okay. Since the Towers had so many cell phone towers on them, a lot of calls weren't able to come through.

Even though I was tired,…

The Word of the Day

The word of the day is uppity. According to Collins Essential English Dictionary, this informal adjective describes one who is snobbish, arrogant, or presumptuous. Those of us who grew up in the South know that when White people use the word, it's an insult meant to reprimand a Black person who dared to rise above their station.

Over the weekend, Lynn Westmoreland, a Republican congressman from Georgia, was asked to compare Sarah Palin with Michelle Obama. He said, "Just from what little I’ve seen of her and Mr. Obama, Senator Obama, they're a member of an elitist-class individual that thinks that they're uppity."

I find it interesting that the Obamas are getting labeled as uppity for being elegant, well-spoken people with Ivy-League educations. I would think that Cindy McCain's six million dollar-a-year salary, and John McCain's inability to remember how many houses he has would seem more arrogant, snobbish, and presumptuous.

Even though we hate to admit it…

Uh Oh...

Looks like the Sarah Palin baby scandal is only going to get bigger. Check out what AOL's Black Voices had to say on the possibility of Trig not being Sarah's child:

On March 5th, 2008 Alaska's Republican Governor, Sarah Palin, announced to the media that she was 7 months pregnant with her 5th child. She is currently 44.

Palin's daughter Bristol is 16 and attends an Anchorage high school. Students who have attended class with her report that she has been out of school for months, claiming a prolonged case of mono.

Palin does not appear pregnant in any recent photographs. The announcement came as quite a shock to people who had worked closely with her, and have been quoted as saying that she did not appear pregnant whatsoever during the prior 7 months.

And there's more -- check out the photo...taken with Palin's daughter having a bulge in her stomach.

And even more. Since these rumors have begun circulating, the Alaska Department of State has taken down ALL PHOTOS…

An Open Letter to Sarah Palin...

Dear Sarah,

I'm no political pundit, but whomever wrote your speech really captured your homespun charm and wit. They made you look like the girl next door, a mother who's facing challenges that have befallen other American mothers. He or she really made you look good.

Unfortunately for you, you didn't look like a leader. Since your record cannot stand on its own, you decided to take potshots at a real candidate to throw the attention off of you. It's a strategy that your party employs well. Why should you be any different?

You said that because you weren't a member of Washington's elite, the media has attacked you. No, sweetheart, the media is attacking you because you're all wrong for the job. The Republicans have used you as the token woman, and you -- claiming that you only want to serve the American people -- have taken your place in the sunshine. I just hope someone has the good sense to bring you back in before you get sunburned.

Sincerely,

MackDiva

Oh, What a Tangled Web We Weave...

Unless you've been under a rock -- or too preoccupied with Hurricane Gustav -- you've heard about the Sarah Palin scandal. To catch you up, John McCain's 44-year-old vice presidential choice and the mother of five is about to become a grandmother, thanks to her 17-year-old daughter, Bristol. It seems that "Pistol Bristol" is about five months pregnant and scheduled to marry her 18-year-old boyfriend. According to a statement from Todd and Sarah Palin that was released by the McCain campaign, Bristol, "came to us with news that we as parents knew would make her grow up faster than we had ever planned" and that their daughter "has our unconditional love and support. We ask the media to respect our daughter and Levi's privacy as has always been the tradition of children of candidates."

In addition, there are several rumors circulating that Trig, Sarah's youngest child, is really Bristol's baby.

Normally, I wouldn't care about Palin …

MackDiva at the DNC

Even though I've never been a political person by nature, I attended the Democratic National Convention in Denver this week. For me, it was a chance to actively participate in a historic moment. Of course, it didn't hurt that there were parties galore and men for days, but we'll have to talk about that later. :)

Anyway, I have to say I've never been more moved in all my life. Being in Denver exposed me to a whole new world, and I loved it. It was wonderful to see all those Black men in suits. Whether they were legendary or just legends in their own minds, they walked with a confidence and swagger that brothers in baggy jeans and Timbs could never duplicate.

Plus, I loved being around progressive people who don't just talk the talk. They actually walk the walk. These are folks who want to make a change in their communities, and take the necessary steps to do so. While public service and civic duty have never been aspirations of mine, I was glad to be exposed to it.

The…

My Current Black Reflections

It's such a great time to be Black. With Barack Obama set to accept the Democratic nomination, HBO and CNN doing groundbreaking specials on African Americans, and the New York Times exploring Obama's effect on the Civil Rights movement, people of color are the in-thing right now.

I'm happy to see the Obama phenomenon occur in my lifetime, but I'm a little disheartened, too. Our country is one of trends. We love to follow the next hot thing. Yes, Michael Phelps has swam his way into history, but will anyone remember his name next year? After Barack paints the White House black, will anyone care about the common Negroes?

The article in the Times explored how Barack's rise to power will affect the struggle for equality that African Americans still face every day of their lives. Yes, our president may be Black, but that doesn't do anything about the fact that I can get better groceries at the Ralph's in Beverly Hills than I can at the one on Crenshaw. Having a Bl…

The Return of MackDiva

Have you ever felt like you were destined for greatness? It's like your potential is bubbling right under your skin, but releasing it would be too painful an endeavor. That's how I'm feeling today. I'm so desperate to expose my true self that I'm willing to slit my wrists and let it flow out.

Okay, before you start calling those nice young men in their clean white coats to take me away, hear me out. I'm stuck in two dead-end jobs and I feel like I'm gonna scream. My radio gig is cool, but I don't see any room for advancement. That doesn't sit well with me at all.

My teaching gig has the potential to be satisfying, but it's not. I have a boss who'd rather not be in his position, and kids who really don't want to learn. I sometimes think we need to crack their heads open and pour the knowledge inside. While there are some really good kids here, I don't necessarily think I have what it takes to get them where they need to be. In addition,…

Getting Ready for My Closeup

So many things are on my mind. I don't really know where to start.

The play is tomorrow. I was supposed to sing three songs, but my voice has refused to cooperate. Now I'm singing one. That's cool because I'm really nervous. The thing that hurts me is that my schedule hasn't allowed me to put forth my finest effort. I don't like not being perfect.

What's really funny is that I spend my days teaching children that they don't have to be perfect -- they just have to try.

This is what was on my mind Saturday night. I was a nervous wreck, to say the least. Fortunately, the play went off without a hitch. The audience loved it, and my song went well. Even though I forgot a few of my lines, it was cool.

After everything was said and done, I learned some very important lessons from this situation:

1. When you're under attack, your mind is the battlefield.
If I tell you everything I've ever feared -- not being desirable, not being talented, etc. -- ran across m…
Can someone please explain to me why my mother, intelligent woman that she is, seems to have a phobia about doctors? It would probably be easier to get George Bush to admit his duplicity in the Iraq war than to get that woman to voluntarily go to a medical facility.

If she would just get preventative care, her visits wouldn't have to be so serious. For example, she had to get an emergency hysterectomy because she refused to go to the kitty doctor on a regular basis. Maybe I'm stupid, but if I'd NEVER had cramps and I suddenly started having them, I think I'd get it checked out.

Why am I bringing this up, you ask? Well, my mom told me on Sunday that she thinks she had a seizure in her sleep. She said she woke up with a swollen lip, her pillowcase wasn't on her pillow, and the books at the foot of her bed were on the floor. My mom is one of those people who sleeps in one spot the entire night. I, on the other hand, am a thrasher. I'm lucky if I still have sheets af…

Joy Cometh in the Morning...

After three months of weeping, my joy has come in the form of a studio apartment in Redondo Beach. I never thought I could be happy in a one-room place, but I am. It's so nice to finally have all my stuff in one place.

I don't know how my landlord felt about me leaving, and I really don't care. The drama he put me through almost made me question my faith. However, I know that all things work together for the good of them who love the Lord and who are called according to His purpose. Even though it wasn't a pleasant experience, it's over now.

Now I just need to figure out how to fit my stuff in this place. Any suggestions?

Let's Play Catch Up...

Okay...it's been a minute since I posted something. Please forgive me. I've actually started three different posts since we last spoke, but I haven't been able to finish them. Give me a minute, and I'll let you in on the days of my life.

In the meantime, I'll give you a few quickies...

1. The Apartment Chronicles: As I told you before, I'm getting ready to make my beach move. I had contemplating not telling my current landlord until the day of the move, but I decided against it. I told him, and he was cool with it...until he realized that I was also taking my money with me. He tried to call me to squeeze utilities out of me. I turned it around and asked him if he planned to give me my deposit back, and if so, he could just take it out of there. That's when he broke down and told me he needed the cash. This is another case of bought sense.

2. The Relationship Situation: I was finally able to let Ol' Boy know that what he was trying to get from me wasn't…

Simple Question...Not-So-Simple Answer

They say that the grieving process is a long one, and I'm inclined to believe it. After almost five months, I guess I thought I was over the worst of it. However, something happened to bring it all back to me.

I was talking to one of my good friends from New York, and he asked me how my life was post-Granny. The question was a valid one, but it really threw me for a loop. Here's the deal -- everyone who's known me longer than a minute knows that I love my grandmother and that she's a big part of my life. My friends have always asked about her, and I've had a million Granny stories over the years. While most of them have never laid eyes on Granny, they know about her through me. Since I'm new to California, no one really knows anything about me, and they don't ask questions like that.

Now that Granny's gone, I really don't know how to live. It's like I'm still here, but my very core has been ripped out. Everything I've ever known has change…