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How Do You Solve a Problem Like...?

For some people, the idea of being in a relationship is wonderful. After years of dating, the thought of being committed to a someone makes them absolutely giddy. There was a time in the not-so-distant past that I thought I was one of the those people. So why am I having an absolute fit now that the possibility is presenting itself?

Let me explain. For the past few weeks, I've been entertaining Mr. Wright. I say entertaining because there's really not too much dating you can do when you're bi-coastal. He's been talking about how much he loves me, how he can't live without me, and how he wants to spend his life with me. Since I really don't believe him, it's okay. Basically, I've been basking in the attention. (Call me crazy, but boredom will cause you to do a lot of things.) However, he changed the game last night when he told me that he was going to tell his children about us. Again, I don't really believe him, but he took it a step further when he changed his relationship status on Facebook. Where it got hairy for me was when he asked me to change mine.

For those of you who don't do the Facebook thing, let me explain. Facebook is the new social networking crack. Everyone I know participates in this site. It's a way for us to keep up with each other's lives without always picking up the phone. For me, it really is an addiction.

Even though I'm blogging and stuff, I still tend to keep my private life to myself. The last thing I need to do is announce that I'm dealing with someone. For one thing, my profession thrives on the young and unattached. That's why I never talk to my colleagues in the industry about what or who I'm doing. Only those in my inner circle get the privilege of getting the details of my life.

Because I was on the phone with him, I went ahead and changed it. The minute I did, I knew that my friends would trip out. True to form, one of my best friends in the whole world was like, "Uh, what do you mean with this 'you're in a relationship' stuff?'" She couldn't imagine that I would make that kind of an announcement in cyberspace without running it by her first. And she wasn't the only one who had something to say. I had at least five folks asking questions and/or congratulating about my new-found relationship status. And that tripped me out.

Why, you ask? Honestly, I really don't know. I've always wanted to be in a relationship, but usually I end up dealing with emotionally handicapped men who either can't or won't commit to me. Because of this fact, I've ended up settling for situations that haven't fulfilled me. That's why I've been celibate for over a year. I decided that if a man wasn't ready, willing, or able to be good to me, I would just forgo the pleasure. While it's been hard, I think it's been worth it.

Now I'm at a point where I cannot settle for unsubstantiated drama and will not tolerate an undesirable situation. As I've said before, Mr. Wright's relationship with me was one that holds many fond memories for him. However, the relationship I was in with him left a sour taste in my mouth. After all the drama and destruction my heart went through at his hand, I find it hard to believe anything he says. As far as he's concerned, I'm from Missouri, and I need him to show me how serious he really is. At this point, I don't know if he can.

And, lest we forget, this man has not one...not two...but THREE children. While I am an avid fan of The Sound of Music, I have no desire to live that way. I'm no Fraulein MackDiva, and the hills are NOT alive with the sound of that kind of music in my world. What would I -- as a single woman with no kids -- look like trying to raise children that are already fully formed?

All in all, I think one of my favorite homeboys summed up this matter best. He said that it's actions -- not words -- that are the real measure of a man. Right now, I find Mr. Wright lacking.


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