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Showing posts from November, 2015

Someone to Love

I need someone to love.

I realized this tonight as I sit here trying to write for work. I need someone in my life who needs me. I never really thought I needed that before this very moment.

Watching people love and care for each other is awesome, but I wanna participate in that, too. I'm tired of sitting on the sidelines.

Here's when you KNOW it's gotten bad. The thought of getting a pet actually crossed MY mind. I don't even like animals like that. But I want someone or something to cuddle with. And since I don't have a man or a baby, I need something that I can shower all this affection on that I have bottled up in my heart.

I should probably stop here and say that I know my period is somewhere around the corner because I'm sitting here with tears running down my face. It's not the time for that.

Anyway...I need someone to love. Period.

What About Me?

I am not a jealous person by nature. I need to say that first because what just happened to me hit me like a ton of bricks.
I'm in one of Starbucks' many locations in the Southern California area, and a mother and her children walked in. The mother was pretty in a delicate sort of way, and her children were cute, too. I could see her features on her daughter face. Her camel-colored daughter had not, however, inherited her blonde hair. And in the instant I thought it, my heart sank in my chest in a way reserved for happy couples.
Before we go further, this isn't a racial issue, per se. Even though the bling on mommy's finger almost blinded me -- literally -- that's not what hurts. What I want to understand is why no chocolate-colored man ever wanted to put a ring on it when it came to me.
There are times when I don't care that I'm one of several melanin-rich women that haven't been selected in the game of life. The consolation we have is that we're n…

Do You Know?

I had a conversation with one of my best friends, and we were discussing her breakup with her husband. Not to go into any details, but it was particularly devastating for her. When it happened, I was living in New York City, and I brought her up for a weekend to get away. We hung out, laughed, joked, partied, got her a new hairdo...the works. She always told me that it was helpful for her. Honestly, I was doing what I thought a friend should do. But I have to tell you -- I had no clue what she was actually going through. I couldn't comprehend the depth of the pain she was experiencing.

Now I do.

After the New Boo debacle -- combined with TMFKATO -- I don't know how people survive that stuff multiple times. I don't know if I could walk upright if I went through this more than once or twice. I see people falling in and out of love all the time. I don't know how they do it.

But can I say that as much as this has hurt, I'm glad to have experienced it. No matter how ugl…