Skip to main content

Ladies & Gentlemen, I'm Back

Even though I don't have a steady man in my life right now -- outside of Jesus, that is -- there are several men that have come through lately. Normally, I just entertain them for the moment and keep it moving. However, as evidenced by previous posts, two of them really got to me. Mr. Perfect always does because he's, well, perfect; and Mr. Wright because his games have been quite inviting.

However...I'm back now.

I recently celebrated my 38th birthday, and after reflecting on the current state of MackDiva, I realize that while I want male companionship, I'm not able or willing to sacrifice my dignity to have it.

No matter how much I want Mr. Perfect to love me, he does not. It's not a bad thing -- it's just the truth. He likes me, he likes the things we do when we're together, but at the end of the day, that's it. And I have to stop wanting more from him because it's not gonna happen.

As for Mr. Wright, let's just say that there's always a reason why an ex is an ex. Sometimes people change, and sometimes they don't. Either way, it doesn't make them bad people. It just makes them not the people for you.

Basically, he misses our relationship. I don't blame him, but the problem is that we were in two different situations. He was with me, and I treated him wonderfully. I was attentive, loving, kind, and honest with him. On the flip, I was with him, and he was aloof, evasive, and insensitive to my needs. And I'm really not in the mood to revisit that strip of memory lane.

So what's on the agenda for 38, you ask? I don't know yet. At this point, I just want to get about the business of living. If a man happens into the equation, so be it. However, if I spend another year as a single woman, I'm not going to trip or think less of myself. I'm just going to work on being the best MackDiva I can possibly be.

Comments

Anonymous said…
I love, love, love your writing.

See, you were blessed with the youthful genes, the men just think you're underage for them. Mr. "W"right and Mr. Perfect are out there you just have to convince them you're old enough to rock with them. :)

I'm sure you have no problems connecting w/ guys who "look" your age. (all just jokes)

What's a girl to do? I heard we can have it all but just not at the same dag on time...SIGH!

I think we need to go and take that class we again....remember that really cool class we took a few months ago. (smiles)

Tiff
Angie-Nuvision said…
Yes, live. And if a man is in the pathway of you living a beautifully prosperous life, of course, take him on. But if he's not, then keep on living.
I just told Randy tonight that I do want to have a man in my life. But if I don't get one, I'll be alright. He told me that I was lying. But I speak truth.
You dog on right, I want a man. I want to see too. But if I don't get either one of those things in my life, I might be annoyed by it. But I refuse to let either one of those lacks get in the way of me living and loving my life.

The only thing that I cannot live without is money. **smile** And I'm not kidding iether. Money has a way of soothing the lack of not having a man and eyeballs that can see.

Peace and light,
B-Angie-B

Popular posts from this blog

On Barack, the Nomination, and Black Love

I'm so excited about Barack Obama! I know I'm just joining the teeming millions when I say that, but I think something this big is worth repeating. Never before in the history of our country has a Black man been in a position to lead the free world, and it feels good. I'm so glad that I've lived long enough to see this day.

Beside the fact that Barack is a great candidate for the Democratic party, I'm moved by his relationship with Michelle. Not since The Cosby Show have we seen a successful Black couple who have a genuine and sincere love and respect for one another. What makes their relationship so special is that it's real -- not the product of someone's imagination.

I obviously don't know Michelle Obama, but I want to grow up to be just like her. I love the fact that she doesn't NEED Barack. She's strong, smart, and successful in her own right, yet secure enough to fall back and be supportive of her man. That's something that all y…

In My Feelings...Again

There are times when I think I should change the name of this blog. Today I do NOT feel like a diva. I feel like a pitiful mess of a woman who's completely in my feelings.

I hate it when I get here.

I was minding my business last night when Juice hit me up. (Remind me to tell you about him later.) He wanted to hang out because we'd actually said we would. But he's he's only after one thing and I wasn't inspired enough to venture out to deal with him, so I told him I was in for the evening.

At the same time, New Boo asked me if I'd done my hair.

Let's be clear. My hair in and of itself isn't necessarily that big a deal. However, him asking me about it could indicate that I was on his mind and that he cared about me in more than a horizontal way. That would be awesome...but I know it's not true. Even though I engaged in conversation with him -- because that's what I do -- it was painful.

I am lonely. I want to be with someone who cares about me. I…

Out of Time

Time. You always think you have more...until you don't. I'm there.

I just left the doctor, where we discussed my fibroid. She said it was huge. So huge, in fact, that she couldn't get it all. If there's a need for another surgery, it'll be a hysterectomy.

I want babies. I want to be someone's mother. I also want to be someone's wife before I become someone's mother. And therein lies my dilemma.

It would be stupid for me to have a baby with My Teddy Bear. That's the reality of my life right now. But it would be even stupider to have a child with New Boo. Not only does he not want any more babies, he does't take care of the ones he already has. I would be an absolute idiot to attempt procreation with him. And as quiet as it's kept, I'm not interested in raising a child alone. I want my baby to have a mother AND a father.

So here I am, a 46-year-old woman who's run out of time.