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Christmas is one of my favorite times of the year, but there's very little joy for me. With all the deaths I've seen this year -- two since Thanksgiving alone -- I'm really not in the mood to be festive. My current job situation has caused me to put my love of giving on hold. I want to be excited, but I'm not. I'm trying not to miss Granny, but I do.

Actually, I thought I was doing pretty good. I know that she's gone, and even though I don't like it, I'm coming to grips with it. This evening, however, I was reminded of my loss as I spoke to a friend of mine. She was telling me about this crazy message her mother left on her phone. Even though the matter ended up being minor, her mother made it sound like it was completely urgent. It reminded me of the time Granny left this message for me -- "Baby, this is Granny. Your mother is missing." Let's just say Granny had a flair for the dramatic.

I was giggling along with my friend when I said, "Man, I should've saved that message." That's when it hit me that I'd never get a crazy message from my grandmother again. That really made me sad. I sucked it up for my friend -- why impose my misery on someone else -- but it still hurt inside.

It's just Christmas Eve, and I'm hoping that this will be the extent of my sadness. After all, I still have my health, my strength, my good friends, and my family. Honestly, I have absolutely no reason to complain. Stay tuned...

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