Excerpts from the Diary of a Diva

There comes a time in every woman's life when she finally realizes that all hope is gone. And that time has come for me. After hoping and wishing and praying for a boyfriend, I'm giving up the ghost. Even though I have an unlimited amount of unconditional love to give, I am fast approaching the "I don't give a damn" space. This is new for me. I try to be the eternal optimist. I work hard to see the positive in every situation. But after looking at the abyss that is my life, I just can't. My body will never be beautiful in that Hollywood, plastic surgery kind of way. No matter how hard I try, I just can't fit into anyone's definition of beautiful. And to top it off, I'm a 40-year-old workaholic with bad credit. What man in his right mind would want me? I know this all sounds hopeless and pessimistic. That pretty much sums up how I feel right now. Maybe I'll feel differently in the morning. Stay tuned...

Summer 2011 will certainly go down as one of the craziest in my life. Honestly, there are no other words to describe what's been going on with me. I went on vacation at the beginning of August. I decided to go to New York on a buddy pass. For those of you who've never flown on a buddy pass, it's a perk for airlines employees to give to their friends and family so they can travel cheaply. The only drawback is that you don't have a guaranteed seat, which means that if someone has paid full price for a ticket, they can bump you off the flight. I'll spare you all the details, but let's just say ya girl went on a cross-country tour to get to New York, with stops in Oakland, Vegas, Denver, and Chicago. I left on Saturday morning and arrived Sunday night. Whew! New York was great -- as always. I was able to work and kick it with my peeps, which was really awesome. And I was able to do a little standup. (I found out that the jokes that work in LA do NOT work in NYC --...