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Giving Up

There comes a time in every woman's life when she finally realizes that all hope is gone. And that time has come for me. After hoping and wishing and praying for a boyfriend, I'm giving up the ghost. Even though I have an unlimited amount of unconditional love to give, I am fast approaching the "I don't give a damn" space.

This is new for me. I try to be the eternal optimist. I work hard to see the positive in every situation. But after looking at the abyss that is my life, I just can't. My body will never be beautiful in that Hollywood, plastic surgery kind of way. No matter how hard I try, I just can't fit into anyone's definition of beautiful. And to top it off, I'm a 40-year-old workaholic with bad credit. What man in his right mind would want me?

I know this all sounds hopeless and pessimistic. That pretty much sums up how I feel right now. Maybe I'll feel differently in the morning. Stay tuned...


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Yeah...About That...

I'm watching Scandal, and Mellie was talking about how lonely it is to be the president. She spoke about how men have a problem with regular powerful women, but being the leader of the free world comes with a chastity belt.
I get it.
I'm nowhere near the leader of the free world. I'm not even the leader of free lunch, but I get it. If men perceive you to have one more drop of power than they do, they can't handle it.
This is my life. At least it is when it comes to the men I've known.
It's not even like that for me.
I don't even have enough juice to get what I want at work.
But yet I'm seen as intimidating.