Excerpts from the Diary of a Diva

I want a family of my own. I want a husband who'll provide for me and have my back. Someone who wants to be with me and me alone. A person who sees me and still thinks I'm a good idea. I want someone I can dream with. Someone who won't think I'm crazy or stupid because I'm afraid of bugs. Someone who'll be willing to go on adventures with me and introduce me to new things. I want someone to love me. Is that really too much to ask? I sometimes wonder how I made it all the way to 46 with no permanent man on the horizon. Yes, I realize that's not the only thing to life, but I swear to you, it's something I want and feel like I need. I want babies, too. (Since I'm telling you what I want, I might as well put it all out there.) More than one. I want to shape human beings with my loving husband by my side. I want my life to mean something to the world. I want to leave something behind besides bills. I want to live in a great condo -- if I d...

I have never felt so small and insignificant in all my life. We have put a man in the White House who absolutely cares NOTHING about people of color. I'm not stupid enough to be believe that he's the first one. I'm not stupid enough to believe he's the only one. But until now, I never thought I'd see the day where this level of racism would be on display for the world to see. I am sickened. The last time I felt quite this bad about racism was back in 1989. I was out with my friends on a Friday night when something jumped off. The cops pulled out their rifles and made the boys lay face down on the ground. It wasn't anything that warranted that type of response, but that's what they did. I was 18 years old and it scared me to death. Now, almost 30 years later, we're seeing the same thing...but on a much larger scale. What kind of country are we living in when white supremacists are marching around unmasked? At least the KKK of old had the decency...

There are times when I think I should change the name of this blog. Today I do NOT feel like a diva. I feel like a pitiful mess of a woman who's completely in my feelings. I hate it when I get here. I was minding my business last night when Juice hit me up. (Remind me to tell you about him later.) He wanted to hang out because we'd actually said we would. But he's he's only after one thing and I wasn't inspired enough to venture out to deal with him, so I told him I was in for the evening. At the same time, New Boo asked me if I'd done my hair. Let's be clear. My hair in and of itself isn't necessarily that big a deal. However, him asking me about it could indicate that I was on his mind and that he cared about me in more than a horizontal way. That would be awesome...but I know it's not true. Even though I engaged in conversation with him -- because that's what I do -- it was painful. I am lonely. I want to be with someone who cares ab...