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What's Up with That?

Is dating a lost art form? What happened to the days when a man saw a woman he liked, asked her out, and they went out for drinks, maybe dinner, and stimulating conversation? Have we become so infatuated with the pursuit of sex that we forget that we're connecting to another person's soul? Is disrespect in such heavy rotation that we forget about treating others how we want to be treated?

Case in point. I'm at the gym. I've already taken spin class -- which I despise -- and I'm getting ready to take boot camp. There's a slight break between them, so I'm heading downstairs to get a bottle of water. I'm standing by the elevator when one of the spin warriors says to me, "I know you're not about to take that elevator." I turn around and give him that, "Are you kidding me" look that I'm famous for before answering, "Uh, yeah." He proceeds to chastise me so much that I end up taking the stairs with him. This man tells me that elevators shouldn't even be in gyms, to which I say, "Well, this is what my fees pay for, and I don't mind taking advantage of them." After he berates me a little more -- in a joking way -- I say to him, "Dude, please know that while your dialogue is quite persuasive, I'm shameless." His eyes light up and he says, "Well, let's be shameless together."

Now, I know I'm not always the sharpest pencil in the can, but seriously, where did the leering look come from? Here I was talking about being shameless in taking the elevator at the gym, and he's taking it all the way to the gutter. In an attempt to bring the brother back on track, I say, "Uh, I may be shameless, but I'm not a shameless hussy." Unfortunately, it didn't.

When he asked for my number, I probably should have walked away in a disgusted huff, but I didn't. Instead, I gave it to him in hopes of possibly having a decent conversation that would allow me to convince him that I was a cool, fun person with whom he could spend quality time. (Look at me having the audacity to hope.) As you can imagine, it didn't turn out that way.

The young man never actually called me. He did, however, send me text messages. Please understand, I like text. It makes some conversations so much easier. However -- and please take note -- there is no substitute for real conversation, especially if you don't already know a person. The content of his messages wasn't vulgar, but all he wanted to do was get me over to his place. When I suggested we meet somewhere for coffee, his response was cool at best.

As usual, when things like that happen, I always question myself. Did I send out the wrong signals? Should I have responded differently? What was it about me that made him think that I wasn't worth a cup of coffee and some conversation?

I finally got some peace when I realized that it was him that was missing out -- not me. He missed that chance to get to know a brilliant woman with a wicked sense of humor. He walked away from possibly the best lover he would've ever had in life. And he vacated the situation before he could find out that my love and loyalty run deep.

Oh well...his bad.


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I'm watching Scandal, and Mellie was talking about how lonely it is to be the president. She spoke about how men have a problem with regular powerful women, but being the leader of the free world comes with a chastity belt.
I get it.
I'm nowhere near the leader of the free world. I'm not even the leader of free lunch, but I get it. If men perceive you to have one more drop of power than they do, they can't handle it.
This is my life. At least it is when it comes to the men I've known.
It's not even like that for me.
I don't even have enough juice to get what I want at work.
But yet I'm seen as intimidating.