Skip to main content

Nobody Wins....

I'm listening to Nobody Wins a War, a song on Raheem DeVaughn's latest album, The Love & War MasterPeace. I like it because it reminds me of something Marvin Gaye would do. Plus, it's reflective of my mood.

I've realized -- for real -- that the end is near.

Mr. Wonderful and I had another discussion about the baby thing, and he told me...in no uncertain terms...that for him, having a child was a non-negotiable. He said it wouldn't be a good look for him to have a child younger than his grandson. And I get it. Really I do. But what does that have to do with me? When I asked him, all he could do is give me that discussion-ending 'what about you' look.

So while we haven't officially called it quits, it's coming for us sooner than later. And the thought of it makes me sad. With all the ins and outs of our relationship, I still love him. And honestly, he's the first guy with whom I could actually see myself taking the procreation plunge. I wish he felt the same way, but he doesn't. And while some of my friends have told me to 'baby trap' him, I don't want to do that. It's not fair.

And this is one war with no winners...especially not me.

Comments

Angie said…
Awwww... your such a sweet interesting person,you'll find the right one for you, and he'll be luck to have ya!
April 29, 2010 at 6:55:00 PM EDT
Redbonegirl97 said…
I hate to say it but you should really cut your losses and run. Clearly he is not going to chnage his mind about it and there is no point of getting farther in, to be hurt even deeper when he still doesn't want to have children. You deserve the opportunity to have a child and no one should take that away from you.

Tiffany
Peace, Love and Chocolate
http://liferequiresmorechocolate.blogspot.com
May 2, 2010 at 10:31:00 PM EDT
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

On Barack, the Nomination, and Black Love

I'm so excited about Barack Obama! I know I'm just joining the teeming millions when I say that, but I think something this big is worth repeating. Never before in the history of our country has a Black man been in a position to lead the free world, and it feels good. I'm so glad that I've lived long enough to see this day.

Beside the fact that Barack is a great candidate for the Democratic party, I'm moved by his relationship with Michelle. Not since The Cosby Show have we seen a successful Black couple who have a genuine and sincere love and respect for one another. What makes their relationship so special is that it's real -- not the product of someone's imagination.

I obviously don't know Michelle Obama, but I want to grow up to be just like her. I love the fact that she doesn't NEED Barack. She's strong, smart, and successful in her own right, yet secure enough to fall back and be supportive of her man. That's something that all y…
Post a Comment
Read more

In My Feelings...Again

There are times when I think I should change the name of this blog. Today I do NOT feel like a diva. I feel like a pitiful mess of a woman who's completely in my feelings.

I hate it when I get here.

I was minding my business last night when Juice hit me up. (Remind me to tell you about him later.) He wanted to hang out because we'd actually said we would. But he's he's only after one thing and I wasn't inspired enough to venture out to deal with him, so I told him I was in for the evening.

At the same time, New Boo asked me if I'd done my hair.

Let's be clear. My hair in and of itself isn't necessarily that big a deal. However, him asking me about it could indicate that I was on his mind and that he cared about me in more than a horizontal way. That would be awesome...but I know it's not true. Even though I engaged in conversation with him -- because that's what I do -- it was painful.

I am lonely. I want to be with someone who cares about me. I…
Post a Comment
Read more

Out of Time

Time. You always think you have more...until you don't. I'm there.

I just left the doctor, where we discussed my fibroid. She said it was huge. So huge, in fact, that she couldn't get it all. If there's a need for another surgery, it'll be a hysterectomy.

I want babies. I want to be someone's mother. I also want to be someone's wife before I become someone's mother. And therein lies my dilemma.

It would be stupid for me to have a baby with My Teddy Bear. That's the reality of my life right now. But it would be even stupider to have a child with New Boo. Not only does he not want any more babies, he does't take care of the ones he already has. I would be an absolute idiot to attempt procreation with him. And as quiet as it's kept, I'm not interested in raising a child alone. I want my baby to have a mother AND a father.

So here I am, a 46-year-old woman who's run out of time.
Post a Comment
Read more