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I am hurting. My heart is sore, and I don't know if I'm coming or going. And I don't like it. I'm not used to feeling this way, but I can't help myself. I want to scream, but I know it won't do any good. Not now.

Try as I might to be positive, the reality of my life is setting in. I'm 40, single, childless, and kinda chunky, with absolutely no prospective Mr. Wonderfuls on the horizon. Not now.

I'm thinking about resorting to Internet dating because I really don't want to be alone. Of course, I know better because I'm not in a good enough place to bring anyone into the chaos I call my life. And of course, there's always the prospect of no one wanting me. And even though I don't want to believe it, it's looking more and more like the truth. I cannot deal with rejection. Not now.

So I'll do what I always do. Write these feelings down, divorce them from myself, and pretend like they don't exist.

Moving on...

Comments

Tiffany said…
Internet dating is special is all I can say. I have met some nice guys, some not so nice guys and some guys that I ended up being good friends with. So you never know. Good luck.

Peace, Love and Chocolate
Tiffany
January 7, 2011 at 8:51:00 AM EST
Mo said…
I agree with Tiffany. I have done internet dating from time to time and there are some good dudes and there are ones that look like they have just been paroled. It is an option. With our world getting smaller and smaller, you never know, you just might hit the jackpot!
January 26, 2011 at 12:31:00 PM EST
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