Skip to main content

...

I am hurting. My heart is sore, and I don't know if I'm coming or going. And I don't like it. I'm not used to feeling this way, but I can't help myself. I want to scream, but I know it won't do any good. Not now.

Try as I might to be positive, the reality of my life is setting in. I'm 40, single, childless, and kinda chunky, with absolutely no prospective Mr. Wonderfuls on the horizon. Not now.

I'm thinking about resorting to Internet dating because I really don't want to be alone. Of course, I know better because I'm not in a good enough place to bring anyone into the chaos I call my life. And of course, there's always the prospect of no one wanting me. And even though I don't want to believe it, it's looking more and more like the truth. I cannot deal with rejection. Not now.

So I'll do what I always do. Write these feelings down, divorce them from myself, and pretend like they don't exist.

Moving on...

Comments

Tiffany said…
Internet dating is special is all I can say. I have met some nice guys, some not so nice guys and some guys that I ended up being good friends with. So you never know. Good luck.

Peace, Love and Chocolate
Tiffany
January 7, 2011 at 8:51:00 AM EST
Mo said…
I agree with Tiffany. I have done internet dating from time to time and there are some good dudes and there are ones that look like they have just been paroled. It is an option. With our world getting smaller and smaller, you never know, you just might hit the jackpot!
January 26, 2011 at 12:31:00 PM EST
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Baby...

I heard from The Baby today. The Baby is a young man I met at work. Nice enough guy...he's 29...new to the radio game...and tall and lanky like I like 'em. He showed up at our studios because he was caught in the throes of his format's contract negotiations. When I saw him, I was kinda speechless. Not because he was cute -- he was -- but because I NEVER see other chocolate faces at my job. The conversation we had was one part interesting, one part amusing, but completely charming. Even though my interest in him was purely professional, we exchanged numbers. See, in addition to working as a radio engineer, he also has the inside track to this weekly show I like. For me, that was it. We exchanged a few texts, but nothing major. Then, one day he said that we should hang out. Since I'm always down for an adventure, I accepted. We ended up spending the day at the beach. We had a good time, but there were some definite red flags for me... For one, he didn't tip ...
4 comments
Read more

The Five Commandments of Houseguests

It's Sunday night, and I just put one of my girlfriends on the plane. She's a great person, but this weekend wore on me like none other. In her defense, she's in mourning. Her husband just died in September, and she's learning how to live again. They had been together since high school and now he's gone. That being said...there was NO excuse for the way she acted this weekend. Please understand...I'm not perfect. Never have been. And now that I'm 40, I don't feel the need to apologize for it. But NO ONE gets to make me feel inferior in MY house. Absolutely not! My house wasn't exactly in tip-top shape. I work two jobs, sing in the church choir, and try to work out with my trainer twice a week. So my house wasn't really ready for her. Then I realized that my mind wasn't ready for her, either. Even when we were in school, she wasn't the friend I could hang out with every day. More than that, she came with the very mentality th...
5 comments
Read more

To Cook or Not to Cook

I was having a discussion with a couple of friends about whether or not a woman should be required to cook for a man. My girlfriend and I pretty much agree that we have to be inspired to bust a move with the pots and pans. In this day and age where the men we've encountered feel entitled to certain privileges, we believe that he has to do more than just call us a couple of times and come over to kick it to earn a MackDiva-licious meal. On the flip side, the brother we were talking to said he didn't really want to get serious with a woman whose idea of a culinary feat was tacos. We asked him whether he'd cook for his woman. His response? "Well, if I really wanted to impress her, I'd throw it down with my jerk chicken recipe." Upon further examination, we discovered that his need to impress was in direct correlation to some form of inspiration from the woman. At the end of the day, both men and women want a lot of the same things. However, because we speak diffe...
Post a Comment
Read more