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Another Admission...

I'm realizing that comedy is hard. It's hard to make people laugh, true, but the real hard part is exposing the tragedies of your life.

This blog has been my therapy for the last three years. Without it, I think I would've gone completely mad. Yet, for all that I release on these pages, there's so much more that I keep locked away in my heart. Furthermore, I don't tell many people about this blog. The majority of the people who read this have never met me. I don't even use my real name.

Comedy is a genre that demands honesty. You have to be real to be likeable. And that reality can be too much for a private person like myself. I don't want to tell people about the ugly parts of my life...the loneliness, the anxiety, and the general malaise that makes up MackDiva. Now I'm considering a career that puts everything you think and feel on display. Am I crazy? What made me think I'd be okay to do this?

If I'm completely honest with myself, I think exposing myself may be the best thing I can do for me. The reason I've never done it before? Plain ol', unadulterated fear. I'm always scared that when people see the real me...the chick I keep hidden...they won't love me. At this point, I'm realizing that they don't love me now...so who really cares?

I guess I do. But I'm trying to push past it all to get to where I need and ultimately want to be. *sigh*

Comments

Unknown said…
And all of that is why we love comedy and crave the opportunity to talk to a lot of folks in a dark room...its also cheaper than therapy...
August 19, 2011 at 3:03:00 AM EDT
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