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Just One of Dem Days....

Have you ever had one of those days? I had one today that honestly has me questioning myself. Let me explain...

I recently lost my job. Even though it wasn't the career-making position I needed, it still contributed to my never-ending goal of paying the bills. And so I'm on the hunt for the next big thing yet again. (***sigh***)

On the strength of a good friend's recommendation, I had an interview with well-known former athlete to produce a daily podcast. While I wasn't sure what that would mean, I decided to go in with my game face on.

The insanity started the moment I entered the studio. With the table and all the stools being extremely tall, it was clear to me that the room had been designed with the former athlete in mind. Athletic Boy, in an attempt to appear gentlemanly, tried to adjust the stool to my lower elevation. When he realized that it wouldn't go as low as I'd need it, he stopped and gave me that, "Oh well, I tried," look. I said to him, "Dude, it's okay. I've been this height for a long time, and I know how to handle it." I could tell that he was taken aback at first, but then he laughed. I thought this was a good sign. The next thing out of his mouth was, "You know, my high school girlfriend had a gap like yours. It either makes you a good lover or a good liar." How was I supposed to respond to that? I decided to let it ride.

At that point, the business manager took over. He asked me to tell him about myself. I don't think name-dropping is the way to go, but I had to mention a few of the them. Then I told him about my gospel gig. What did I do that for? Athletic Boy chimed in with, "Oh, so y'all hide your sexuality." I said, "No, we just believe it's better within the confines of marriage."

It was downhill from there. While the Business Boy was asking the pertinent questions, Athletic Boy was being an ass. His next question: "Do you cuss?" I told that I did when the situation warranted it. Next was, "Well, do you say, 'I didn't mean it, Lord,' when you do?" I replied that Jesus knows what I'm going to do before I do. That really got his goat. He didn't think Jesus could know me because, in his words, "Jesus has been dead for over two-thousand years."

I was too through, but I didn't cave. AB then asked me if Moses knew me. I told him that he was asking questions of faith. He was like, "No. These are direct questions." I said yes, they are, and I believe that Moses -- and everyone else in Heaven -- knows me. Then he asked me something about his own father knowing me, and I told him that since his father wasn't God, I don't know. He then asked me if Moses was chilling with Tupac and Elvis. At that point, I'd had enough, and I said, "Well, Tupac is in the Bahamas, and I don't know what to tell you about Elvis."

The final questions that fool asked me was, "Why are you a Christian?" I told him that after seeing what I'd seen and doing what I'd done, that was the best option for me. I don't know if that was the answer he was looking for, but I thought it was a pretty good one.

When I finally got up outta there, I was cool, but extremely livid. I don't know if I'll hear from him. I don't know if I want to. But what I do know is that I'd love to be curled up in the arms of a loving, caring man right now. Instead, I'm here with you.

Oh well...NEXT!


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