Skip to main content

Forever Isn't as Long as it Used to Be...

For all that big talk I was doing, I realize that I'm hurt about The One. I really thought he cared. I believed him when he said he'd love me forever. Clearly, forever isn't as long as it used to be.

And while I'm crushed today, I know I'll get past this. There will be love for me because I deserve it. But I'll know some things for next time. For instance, I won't be so quick to believe the pretty words. I'll test them out to make sure that they're real before I let myself get caught up.

Next time, I won't stick my neck on the line for someone who's not willing or able to make the same kind of sacrifices for me. I won't go to the nth degree until I can see some sort of return on my investment.

Next time, I promise you I won't let myself fall for someone who doesn't live close enough to touch at least once a week. I see now how important it is to have that contact with your love.

Next time, I'll protect my heart a little better. I won't let it go out there alone no matter what happens. I'll guard it a little more carefully.

Next time, I won't ignore the signs and I'll get out when I see foolishness on the horizon.

And while I'm so wounded right now I can't even see myself wanting a next time, I know they'll be a next time. And I'll be more careful then.

But then again, how can you be careful and still be in love? The whole point of love and loving is giving your all in hopes of having it returned to you.

I really don't know anything anymore.  Ugh.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

A New Possibility?

If you've been reading EFTDOAD for any length of time, you've probably noticed that I haven't really talked about a man. By that, I mean a man of my own. What's really sad is that there hasn't been a man in my life for the entire time I've been writing this blog. I hate that. However, things may be looking up for me. One of my good friends hosts a forum in Los Angeles called " Battle of the Sexes ." This monthly event consists of guys and girls submitting questions anonymously to the moderators, with the answers being discussed in an open forum. It can get quite rowdy, and the discussions are always enlightening. For most of us, it's the first time we've really heard what members of the opposite sex think. I've been attending these Battles for a few months now. Even though I'm not a fan of mindless rhetoric, it's cool to be around some single people who can think and put together coherent sentences. The last couple of times I'v...

Life Matters: My Take on All This Madness

I am vexed beyond words about the situation with the two police officers being shot in Brooklyn. What bothers me is the blatant disregard for life -- on both sides. The man who felt like it was okay to take the lives of two police officers CLEARLY had no disregard for life because he took theirs and his own. And then there are the situations with Eric Garner and Michael Brown. Both situations show a disregard for life. For humanity, really. And it's painful to me that all of these families will have holes in them because someone felt like it was okay to take a life. There was a time in the not-so-distant past when people could fight and disagree -- and everyone went home to fight another day. When did it become okay to kill a person for whatever reason? As quiet as it's kept, by NOT indicting the police officers for killing those guys, it shows that life doesn't really matter. And it's easy to say Black life (and believe me, I do believe that it's open season ...

The Baby...

I heard from The Baby today. The Baby is a young man I met at work. Nice enough guy...he's 29...new to the radio game...and tall and lanky like I like 'em. He showed up at our studios because he was caught in the throes of his format's contract negotiations. When I saw him, I was kinda speechless. Not because he was cute -- he was -- but because I NEVER see other chocolate faces at my job. The conversation we had was one part interesting, one part amusing, but completely charming. Even though my interest in him was purely professional, we exchanged numbers. See, in addition to working as a radio engineer, he also has the inside track to this weekly show I like. For me, that was it. We exchanged a few texts, but nothing major. Then, one day he said that we should hang out. Since I'm always down for an adventure, I accepted. We ended up spending the day at the beach. We had a good time, but there were some definite red flags for me... For one, he didn't tip ...