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Forever Isn't as Long as it Used to Be...

For all that big talk I was doing, I realize that I'm hurt about The One. I really thought he cared. I believed him when he said he'd love me forever. Clearly, forever isn't as long as it used to be.

And while I'm crushed today, I know I'll get past this. There will be love for me because I deserve it. But I'll know some things for next time. For instance, I won't be so quick to believe the pretty words. I'll test them out to make sure that they're real before I let myself get caught up.

Next time, I won't stick my neck on the line for someone who's not willing or able to make the same kind of sacrifices for me. I won't go to the nth degree until I can see some sort of return on my investment.

Next time, I promise you I won't let myself fall for someone who doesn't live close enough to touch at least once a week. I see now how important it is to have that contact with your love.

Next time, I'll protect my heart a little better. I won't let it go out there alone no matter what happens. I'll guard it a little more carefully.

Next time, I won't ignore the signs and I'll get out when I see foolishness on the horizon.

And while I'm so wounded right now I can't even see myself wanting a next time, I know they'll be a next time. And I'll be more careful then.

But then again, how can you be careful and still be in love? The whole point of love and loving is giving your all in hopes of having it returned to you.

I really don't know anything anymore.  Ugh.

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Update

So...I finally unburdened myself to New Boo. I told him that I wasn't built for sneaking around and random treks down the primrose path to sin & degradation.

As expected, he told me, "I thought you wanted just to chill." Then he added -- almost as a smackdown, in my opinion -- "I'm not looking for any relationship. And you're the one who involved me."

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