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The Reality of it All...

Real love makes you giddy. When you see the object of your affection, your face lights up from the inside out. When you're apart, you long for the person -- even if it's just a few hours.

I used to feel that way.  I want to feel that way again.

Sadly, My Teddy Bear was never the object of that, and it's unfair to him.

What's sadder is that he doesn't realize it.

When he got with me, I was so broken that I needed someone...anyone...to help glue me back together. My main requirement was that he wasn't New Boo. And he wasn't. He seemed to have his thing way more together. He made me feel special -- something I needed at the time.

But things have soured. First of all...he restricted my conversation. He wouldn't let me share with him like I needed to. Then he stopped sleeping with me. That was a biggie. Now I just feel empty when it comes to him. It's almost like I'm not in a relationship anymore.

It would be easy to place the blame on him, but it's not accurate and it's not fair. He did the best he could. I just needed more. I was being held together with tape and safety pins -- not superglue. And I'm still broken.

Now I've got to extrapolate myself from him. It might break him. I hate to be the cause of that, but what's going on isn't fair to anyone.

No one wins in this game.

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