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What's Worse: A Chronicle of Mistakes

What's the worse thing you can do when you're lonely? If you said, "Go to a singles event, get drunk, and tell your ex that you miss him," you'd be right.

Here I was thinking I was over New Boo. Here I was thinking that I'd finally moved past the bane of my existence. Here. I. Was. Thinking that I was ready to put myself out there.

As my grandmother would say, that's what I get for thinking.

One of my friends suffered a breakup like the one I had with New Boo a few months ago. Because I know exactly what she's going through, I committed myself to trying to help her get past it. One thing she really wanted to do was go out and meet men. When the singles event came up, I was like, sure...I'll go with you.

Mistake number one.

I should give you a little backstory. New Boo and I have been low-key texting for a couple of weeks. I thought it was harmless because my heart wasn't involved.

Mistake number two.

Once we got there, the men were a disappointment. That's when we started mingling with the other women there. One of them -- a Charo lookalike -- took a liking to us and started buying us drinks.

Mistake number three.

While I hang out with a bunch of experienced drinkers, I am not one of them. Three drinks in, I'm done. And then they introduced shots.

Mistake number four.

At that point, we decided to leave for a karaoke bar. That was a good time. I love to sing and the place we went had a really decent book.

BUT...I went drunk. That's why I was groping some random man. And that made me sad. I made me sad because I really only want to be with was New Boo. 

Note to (my)self, I should give my phone to someone to hold when I get inebriated. Therefore, I won't even be tempted to text anyone. That didn't happen.

Mistake number five.

Not only did I text New Boo, I called him and told him that I missed him. He said he missed me, too. Then we proceeded to have the same conversation we've had since we broke up. Ugh.

Mistakes number six thru ten.

And that brings us to today. I am mentally spent and emotionally drained. I swear I hate myself every time I let me get sucked into the vortex that is New Boo. And honestly, it's not his fault. It's mine. Because I'm the one who forgets that we're not in love. I keep forgetting that I'm not supposed to be honest with him and that he doesn't share my feelings -- or at least not the intensity of them.

I will learn. I swear I will. When? I wish I knew. I'm beginning to believe that New Boo is crack and I'm the junkie that can't get into rehab.

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