Skip to main content

When Breaking Up is Best

I got a reminder on my phone today. "The Day I Broke Up with My Teddy Bear," it said. It brought a smile to my face.

To be clear, I'm not proud of what I put him through. I should've broken up with him a year before I actually did. I was wrong to string him along as long as I did. I cheated on him and said hurtful things to him and generally did him dirty.

If the truth is ever really told, I probably never should have dated him. When he came into my life, I was way too broken to enter into any kind of relationship -- much less a romantic one with someone whose only attribute for me was an awe-like worship of me. He said the things my battered heart needed to hear. He just wasn't the one I needed to hear them from.

I was still deeply in love with New Boo. Even though he'd dogged me out and made me feel like a fraction of myself, I was so sprung that I couldn't see straight. If New Boo had tried half as hard as My Teddy Bear did, I would've taken him back -- flaws and all.

My Teddy Bear was the personification of everything that New Boo was not. He was loving, caring, and a very sweet boyfriend. But I couldn't appreciate him because he wasn't New Boo.

To my credit (not that I deserve much), I tried. I really did. But I wasn't met halfway -- or at least, not to my satisfaction. I could rehash My Teddy Bear's faults and shortcomings, but that's not what we're here for today.

I'm thankful for My Teddy Bear's presence in my life. He gave me a hard lesson in what not to do with someone I care about. And as quiet as it was kept, I really did care for My Teddy Bear. I just didn't love him -- not in the way he deserved.

I'm so glad I summoned up the strength to break things off with him. Even though I hurt him, I know I did the right thing. He deserved to be with someone who could appreciate his unique qualities and love him in a life-affirming way. I was not that person for him.

And I'm happy to report that he's engaged to a woman who'll actually attend Comic-Con with him. I wish them nothing but happiness.

As for me, I'm still single...and probably a bit lonely, too. But I'd rather be here than stuck in a relationship with someone just so I can say I have someone. That's not cool at all.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Baby...

I heard from The Baby today. The Baby is a young man I met at work. Nice enough guy...he's 29...new to the radio game...and tall and lanky like I like 'em. He showed up at our studios because he was caught in the throes of his format's contract negotiations. When I saw him, I was kinda speechless. Not because he was cute -- he was -- but because I NEVER see other chocolate faces at my job. The conversation we had was one part interesting, one part amusing, but completely charming. Even though my interest in him was purely professional, we exchanged numbers. See, in addition to working as a radio engineer, he also has the inside track to this weekly show I like. For me, that was it. We exchanged a few texts, but nothing major. Then, one day he said that we should hang out. Since I'm always down for an adventure, I accepted. We ended up spending the day at the beach. We had a good time, but there were some definite red flags for me... For one, he didn't tip ...
4 comments
Read more

To Cook or Not to Cook

I was having a discussion with a couple of friends about whether or not a woman should be required to cook for a man. My girlfriend and I pretty much agree that we have to be inspired to bust a move with the pots and pans. In this day and age where the men we've encountered feel entitled to certain privileges, we believe that he has to do more than just call us a couple of times and come over to kick it to earn a MackDiva-licious meal. On the flip side, the brother we were talking to said he didn't really want to get serious with a woman whose idea of a culinary feat was tacos. We asked him whether he'd cook for his woman. His response? "Well, if I really wanted to impress her, I'd throw it down with my jerk chicken recipe." Upon further examination, we discovered that his need to impress was in direct correlation to some form of inspiration from the woman. At the end of the day, both men and women want a lot of the same things. However, because we speak diffe...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Five Commandments of Houseguests

It's Sunday night, and I just put one of my girlfriends on the plane. She's a great person, but this weekend wore on me like none other. In her defense, she's in mourning. Her husband just died in September, and she's learning how to live again. They had been together since high school and now he's gone. That being said...there was NO excuse for the way she acted this weekend. Please understand...I'm not perfect. Never have been. And now that I'm 40, I don't feel the need to apologize for it. But NO ONE gets to make me feel inferior in MY house. Absolutely not! My house wasn't exactly in tip-top shape. I work two jobs, sing in the church choir, and try to work out with my trainer twice a week. So my house wasn't really ready for her. Then I realized that my mind wasn't ready for her, either. Even when we were in school, she wasn't the friend I could hang out with every day. More than that, she came with the very mentality th...
5 comments
Read more