Excerpts from the Diary of a Diva

My life has been humming along quite nicely. But something happened to throw a wrench in my beautifully laid plans. To help you understand it, I need to take you back... The year was 1992. I was a music major in the second semester of my first year. I had a room by myself in the poshest dorm on campus, and all was well in my world. I had great friends, and I wasn't doing too badly in my classes. In fact, I was an active member of my church choir and the gospel choir on campus. As a result, I wasn't really going out a lot...mostly to gigs and hanging with my peeps. As far as guys were concerned, there wasn't anyone special. I had given up all my playthings to dedicate my life to Christ. And while I did get caught slipping on occasion, I made it a point to get that under control with a quickness. There were a couple of guys in my classes that kinda caught my eye, though. They were commuter students, which meant they didn't live on campus. One in particular took two...

Today is one of those gray days that make me feel a little melancholy. For me, a day without sunshine looks like the world is mad. My heart is sore right now. As a person who loves Jesus unequivocally, I'm sensitive to attacks against the body of Christ. Whether true or not, I hate it when situations arise that make people -- especially unbelievers -- look at Christians like we're crazy. And I'm hurting because of what's currently going on in Atlanta with Bishop Eddie Long. If you haven't had the pleasure of hearing about it, here's the link to CNN . In a nutshell, three young men are alleged that the good Bishop coerced them into having sex with them. I'm not going to go into anyone's guilt or innocence. It's not my place to do so, and since I believe what the Bible says in 1 Chronicles 16:22 ( Do not touch My anointed ones, And do My prophets no harm ), I'm keeping my mouth shut. However, I can't deny how I feel. It's hurtful to...

My homie went to meet Jesus today. No matter how sad I am, I know that God does all things well. That's enough to keep me from going off the deep end. I also know he's not suffering anymore. My fav homie lived, loved, and laughed to the fullest from September 29th, 1971 until this day, September 8th, 2010. I'm gonna miss him tremendously. Please pray for his family...

I just received the news that one of my friends from high school is dying. His second transplanted liver has failed him, and the doctors have given up on him. Now, the only way he can stay in the land of the living is by a miracle...(and yes, I do believe in them.) He's 38. Of all my classmates that have died, I know I'll take this one the hardest. Why? For one, he's a cool dude who didn't mind telling me letting me in on The Secret Lives of Men . When I was a broke college student, he and his wife -- who's also my good friend -- would make sure I was able to hang out with them in the manner to which I was accustomed. And when my mom made her big move to the city, he and one of his homies came and packed the truck. What makes his impending death even sadder to me is that it could've been avoided. See, the reason his liver is failing him now is that he put it to work too early. He started drinking on a daily basis when we were in high school. He used to ...

Your absence has gone through me Like thread through a needle Everything I do is stitched with its color --W.S. Merwin I need to write today. (Actually, I probably need to write everyday, but that's beside the point.) I work as a writer, but today, I need to release some things from my soul. I need to share my heart...and this is the best venue for me to do it. For one, I miss having good, close friends within a reasonable distance. By that, I mean people I can call on to go shopping or hanging or whatever. I have friends in California, but they're new friends...which isn't bad by any stretch...but sometimes, you don't want to explain yourself. And I'm missing Granny. I'm sure it's just because I'm lonely. Overall, I've dealt with her being gone, but lately, I've been thinking about visiting my East Texas. And I haven't really dealt with it in real time...meaning that I haven't been in her hometown since she took her leave of us. ...

I'm listening to Nobody Wins a War , a song on Raheem DeVaughn's latest album, The Love & War MasterPeace . I like it because it reminds me of something Marvin Gaye would do. Plus, it's reflective of my mood. I've realized -- for real -- that the end is near. Mr. Wonderful and I had another discussion about the baby thing, and he told me...in no uncertain terms...that for him, having a child was a non-negotiable. He said it wouldn't be a good look for him to have a child younger than his grandson. And I get it. Really I do. But what does that have to do with me? When I asked him, all he could do is give me that discussion-ending 'what about you' look. So while we haven't officially called it quits, it's coming for us sooner than later. And the thought of it makes me sad. With all the ins and outs of our relationship, I still love him. And honestly, he's the first guy with whom I could actually see myself taking the procreation plunge. I wish...

Have you ever been in a place in your life where you just can't explain it? That's where I am today. So many things are happening, and I don't know how to put them together. I'm gonna give you a random overview now, and reserve the right to explain at a later date... 1. I still haven't finished moving into my new apartment. All of my stuff is out of storage -- Thank God!!! -- but I don't have the gas on yet. That means no hot showers...and I can't live like that. After a mini-fiasco with the gas company last week, it should be on tomorrow. 2. My boss isn't getting any better. In fact, she's getting worse. No feedback on my work for two weeks. As if that's not bad enough, she hasn't said hello or good morning, either. Today I get an email saying she hasn't liked what I'd written for the last two scripts. Call me crazy...but if you didn't like what I was doing, wouldn't it be wise to let me know? After all, my three-...