Excerpts from the Diary of a Diva

So 2011 is slowly but surely coming to a close. If you're like me, you're taking these last few days to reflect on this year...and trying to figure out what you can do to make the next year better. As I've said before, 2011 has been a year that really defies words. Between losing people I love to changing jobs, I'm still not able to talk about it. When I am, believe me, you'll be the first to know. What I can talk about is what I'd like to see in 2012. I'd like to lick this weight problem once and for all. I want to commit to myself in a way I haven't before. That means daily exercise, cooking, and shopping on a weekly basis. I don't know if I'll be able to maintain all that, but it's a goal. I also want to decorate my apartment. Since I've been in LA, I've moved five times. Naturally, I haven't felt stable. But now that I'm in my 40s, I need to have a place I'm proud to bring people to. I need to be able to have company w...

It's been a minute since I posted, and I apologize for that one. It's been a crazy year, and it's been hard to put into words what's been going on with me. After my last post, I really thought I'd given up on love. I have since changed my mind (as I knew I would). And this particular blog really put it all in perspective for me. Check it out here . I'll be back soon to share my thoughts. Love you, and Merry Christmas.

There comes a time in every woman's life when she finally realizes that all hope is gone. And that time has come for me. After hoping and wishing and praying for a boyfriend, I'm giving up the ghost. Even though I have an unlimited amount of unconditional love to give, I am fast approaching the "I don't give a damn" space. This is new for me. I try to be the eternal optimist. I work hard to see the positive in every situation. But after looking at the abyss that is my life, I just can't. My body will never be beautiful in that Hollywood, plastic surgery kind of way. No matter how hard I try, I just can't fit into anyone's definition of beautiful. And to top it off, I'm a 40-year-old workaholic with bad credit. What man in his right mind would want me? I know this all sounds hopeless and pessimistic. That pretty much sums up how I feel right now. Maybe I'll feel differently in the morning. Stay tuned...

Summer 2011 will certainly go down as one of the craziest in my life. Honestly, there are no other words to describe what's been going on with me. I went on vacation at the beginning of August. I decided to go to New York on a buddy pass. For those of you who've never flown on a buddy pass, it's a perk for airlines employees to give to their friends and family so they can travel cheaply. The only drawback is that you don't have a guaranteed seat, which means that if someone has paid full price for a ticket, they can bump you off the flight. I'll spare you all the details, but let's just say ya girl went on a cross-country tour to get to New York, with stops in Oakland, Vegas, Denver, and Chicago. I left on Saturday morning and arrived Sunday night. Whew! New York was great -- as always. I was able to work and kick it with my peeps, which was really awesome. And I was able to do a little standup. (I found out that the jokes that work in LA do NOT work in NYC --...

There comes a point in every friendship where you have to decide whether it’s best to be honest. And that point came for me today. See, I live in America. As a Black woman. There’s no way I’ll align myself with anyone who’s sole purpose is to make my life a living hell. And that’s what I believe the Republican Party is out to do. First of all, they have no compassion whatsoever for anyone who’s not rich. They’d rather take care of the business owners than take care of the workers. They have no interest anything or anyone that doesn’t generate revenue. Furthermore, they want to tamper with reproductive rights. That’s a problem to me. Understand that I’m pro-life all day long. The way I see it, people have sex all the time and don’t get pregnant. So when they do, I believe that God has a divine purpose for that baby. However, I understand that everyone doesn’t share my feelings. And I don’t think a woman should have to be butchered in a back alley if she chooses to abort a baby. Wou...

I'm realizing that comedy is hard. It's hard to make people laugh, true, but the real hard part is exposing the tragedies of your life. This blog has been my therapy for the last three years. Without it, I think I would've gone completely mad. Yet, for all that I release on these pages, there's so much more that I keep locked away in my heart. Furthermore, I don't tell many people about this blog. The majority of the people who read this have never met me. I don't even use my real name. Comedy is a genre that demands honesty. You have to be real to be likeable. And that reality can be too much for a private person like myself. I don't want to tell people about the ugly parts of my life...the loneliness, the anxiety, and the general malaise that makes up MackDiva. Now I'm considering a career that puts everything you think and feel on display. Am I crazy? What made me think I'd be okay to do this? If I'm completely honest with myself, ...

I really don't have time to post today, but I couldn't leave you hanging, dear reader. As I told you, my comedic debut was Tuesday night...and it was very cool. My set was tight, I wasn't as nervous as I thought I'd be, and the people laughed. It was magical to me, and I'm excited. Now for the really cool part. As a result of that performance, I now have a chance to perform at The World Famous Comedy Store in Hollywood! The show will be on Wednesday, July 27th at 8pm in The Belly Room. It's what's known as a "bringer" show. That means that I have to bring at least 5 people to get a spot on the bill. So, if you're in the LA area, feel free to come and support the Macklicious One in her comedic endeavors. Thanks, y'all! Now, back to your regularly scheduled programs.