Skip to main content
Contrary to popular belief, being single isn't the worst thing in the world. It isn't the best thing, either, but I'm okay with it. However, there are times when I wonder how long I'll have to endure this state.

Case in point: I was at choir rehearsal last night. (Just in case you didn't know, I started singing with a new church. It actually inspired a whole new blog.) And most of the people at this church are married with children. While I would've liked to find a place with more singles, I'm happy at this church and I really feel like it's a good fit for me in every other way.

Anyway, I was having a conversation with the choir director's wife, and subject of my marital status -- or lack thereof -- came up. Both she and the choir director think I should be with someone great, but they both agree that it'll be hard for me to find someone. Why? Because I'm intimidating.

Naturally, I wanted to know what makes MackDiva intimidating. I mean, why would any man be intimidated by a woman who's 5'1 on a good day? She told me that a lot of men can't handle my friendly demeanor and sparkling personality, combined with the fact that I'm intelligent. Even her husband said that it would be hard for a man to hang with me conversationally.

Okay...a lot of these things aren't really news to me. I've heard 'em a million times before. However, this time the source wasn't triflin' brothers. My choir director and his wife are some of the sweetest people I've ever met, and I honestly believe they want what's best for me. And I guess that's why it stung a bit more than usual.

I've spent so much time trying to figure who I am and what I want. While I'm still not completely there, I think I'm further along on my journey than I have ever been. And while I'd love to have another Mr. Wonderful to spend time with, I'm not interested in going backwards.

However, here's what I wonder: Have I worked so hard on battling my feelings of inadequacy that I've lost the war?


JB said…
You DO NOT want to be with someone who isn't right for you and there's no need to try to change who you are. Just glory in your own self and trust. Not easy, I know.

Popular posts from this blog

On Barack, the Nomination, and Black Love

I'm so excited about Barack Obama! I know I'm just joining the teeming millions when I say that, but I think something this big is worth repeating. Never before in the history of our country has a Black man been in a position to lead the free world, and it feels good. I'm so glad that I've lived long enough to see this day.

Beside the fact that Barack is a great candidate for the Democratic party, I'm moved by his relationship with Michelle. Not since The Cosby Show have we seen a successful Black couple who have a genuine and sincere love and respect for one another. What makes their relationship so special is that it's real -- not the product of someone's imagination.

I obviously don't know Michelle Obama, but I want to grow up to be just like her. I love the fact that she doesn't NEED Barack. She's strong, smart, and successful in her own right, yet secure enough to fall back and be supportive of her man. That's something that all y…

In My Feelings...Again

There are times when I think I should change the name of this blog. Today I do NOT feel like a diva. I feel like a pitiful mess of a woman who's completely in my feelings.

I hate it when I get here.

I was minding my business last night when Juice hit me up. (Remind me to tell you about him later.) He wanted to hang out because we'd actually said we would. But he's he's only after one thing and I wasn't inspired enough to venture out to deal with him, so I told him I was in for the evening.

At the same time, New Boo asked me if I'd done my hair.

Let's be clear. My hair in and of itself isn't necessarily that big a deal. However, him asking me about it could indicate that I was on his mind and that he cared about me in more than a horizontal way. That would be awesome...but I know it's not true. Even though I engaged in conversation with him -- because that's what I do -- it was painful.

I am lonely. I want to be with someone who cares about me. I…

Yeah...About That...

I'm watching Scandal, and Mellie was talking about how lonely it is to be the president. She spoke about how men have a problem with regular powerful women, but being the leader of the free world comes with a chastity belt.
I get it.
I'm nowhere near the leader of the free world. I'm not even the leader of free lunch, but I get it. If men perceive you to have one more drop of power than they do, they can't handle it.
This is my life. At least it is when it comes to the men I've known.
It's not even like that for me.
I don't even have enough juice to get what I want at work.
But yet I'm seen as intimidating.