Contrary to popular belief, being single isn't the worst thing in the world. It isn't the best thing, either, but I'm okay with it. However, there are times when I wonder how long I'll have to endure this state.
Case in point: I was at choir rehearsal last night. (Just in case you didn't know, I started singing with a new church. It actually inspired a whole new blog.) And most of the people at this church are married with children. While I would've liked to find a place with more singles, I'm happy at this church and I really feel like it's a good fit for me in every other way.
Anyway, I was having a conversation with the choir director's wife, and subject of my marital status -- or lack thereof -- came up. Both she and the choir director think I should be with someone great, but they both agree that it'll be hard for me to find someone. Why? Because I'm intimidating.
Naturally, I wanted to know what makes MackDiva intimidating. I mean, why would any man be intimidated by a woman who's 5'1 on a good day? She told me that a lot of men can't handle my friendly demeanor and sparkling personality, combined with the fact that I'm intelligent. Even her husband said that it would be hard for a man to hang with me conversationally.
Okay...a lot of these things aren't really news to me. I've heard 'em a million times before. However, this time the source wasn't triflin' brothers. My choir director and his wife are some of the sweetest people I've ever met, and I honestly believe they want what's best for me. And I guess that's why it stung a bit more than usual.
I've spent so much time trying to figure who I am and what I want. While I'm still not completely there, I think I'm further along on my journey than I have ever been. And while I'd love to have another Mr. Wonderful to spend time with, I'm not interested in going backwards.
However, here's what I wonder: Have I worked so hard on battling my feelings of inadequacy that I've lost the war?
Case in point: I was at choir rehearsal last night. (Just in case you didn't know, I started singing with a new church. It actually inspired a whole new blog.) And most of the people at this church are married with children. While I would've liked to find a place with more singles, I'm happy at this church and I really feel like it's a good fit for me in every other way.
Anyway, I was having a conversation with the choir director's wife, and subject of my marital status -- or lack thereof -- came up. Both she and the choir director think I should be with someone great, but they both agree that it'll be hard for me to find someone. Why? Because I'm intimidating.
Naturally, I wanted to know what makes MackDiva intimidating. I mean, why would any man be intimidated by a woman who's 5'1 on a good day? She told me that a lot of men can't handle my friendly demeanor and sparkling personality, combined with the fact that I'm intelligent. Even her husband said that it would be hard for a man to hang with me conversationally.
Okay...a lot of these things aren't really news to me. I've heard 'em a million times before. However, this time the source wasn't triflin' brothers. My choir director and his wife are some of the sweetest people I've ever met, and I honestly believe they want what's best for me. And I guess that's why it stung a bit more than usual.
I've spent so much time trying to figure who I am and what I want. While I'm still not completely there, I think I'm further along on my journey than I have ever been. And while I'd love to have another Mr. Wonderful to spend time with, I'm not interested in going backwards.
However, here's what I wonder: Have I worked so hard on battling my feelings of inadequacy that I've lost the war?
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