Skip to main content
Contrary to popular belief, being single isn't the worst thing in the world. It isn't the best thing, either, but I'm okay with it. However, there are times when I wonder how long I'll have to endure this state.

Case in point: I was at choir rehearsal last night. (Just in case you didn't know, I started singing with a new church. It actually inspired a whole new blog.) And most of the people at this church are married with children. While I would've liked to find a place with more singles, I'm happy at this church and I really feel like it's a good fit for me in every other way.

Anyway, I was having a conversation with the choir director's wife, and subject of my marital status -- or lack thereof -- came up. Both she and the choir director think I should be with someone great, but they both agree that it'll be hard for me to find someone. Why? Because I'm intimidating.

Naturally, I wanted to know what makes MackDiva intimidating. I mean, why would any man be intimidated by a woman who's 5'1 on a good day? She told me that a lot of men can't handle my friendly demeanor and sparkling personality, combined with the fact that I'm intelligent. Even her husband said that it would be hard for a man to hang with me conversationally.

Okay...a lot of these things aren't really news to me. I've heard 'em a million times before. However, this time the source wasn't triflin' brothers. My choir director and his wife are some of the sweetest people I've ever met, and I honestly believe they want what's best for me. And I guess that's why it stung a bit more than usual.

I've spent so much time trying to figure who I am and what I want. While I'm still not completely there, I think I'm further along on my journey than I have ever been. And while I'd love to have another Mr. Wonderful to spend time with, I'm not interested in going backwards.

However, here's what I wonder: Have I worked so hard on battling my feelings of inadequacy that I've lost the war?

Comments

JB said…
You DO NOT want to be with someone who isn't right for you and there's no need to try to change who you are. Just glory in your own self and trust. Not easy, I know.

Popular posts from this blog

A New Possibility?

If you've been reading EFTDOAD for any length of time, you've probably noticed that I haven't really talked about a man. By that, I mean a man of my own. What's really sad is that there hasn't been a man in my life for the entire time I've been writing this blog. I hate that. However, things may be looking up for me. One of my good friends hosts a forum in Los Angeles called " Battle of the Sexes ." This monthly event consists of guys and girls submitting questions anonymously to the moderators, with the answers being discussed in an open forum. It can get quite rowdy, and the discussions are always enlightening. For most of us, it's the first time we've really heard what members of the opposite sex think. I've been attending these Battles for a few months now. Even though I'm not a fan of mindless rhetoric, it's cool to be around some single people who can think and put together coherent sentences. The last couple of times I'v

The Five Commandments of Houseguests

It's Sunday night, and I just put one of my girlfriends on the plane. She's a great person, but this weekend wore on me like none other. In her defense, she's in mourning. Her husband just died in September, and she's learning how to live again. They had been together since high school and now he's gone. That being said...there was NO excuse for the way she acted this weekend. Please understand...I'm not perfect. Never have been. And now that I'm 40, I don't feel the need to apologize for it. But NO ONE gets to make me feel inferior in MY house. Absolutely not! My house wasn't exactly in tip-top shape. I work two jobs, sing in the church choir, and try to work out with my trainer twice a week. So my house wasn't really ready for her. Then I realized that my mind wasn't ready for her, either. Even when we were in school, she wasn't the friend I could hang out with every day. More than that, she came with the very mentality th

The Baby...

I heard from The Baby today. The Baby is a young man I met at work. Nice enough guy...he's 29...new to the radio game...and tall and lanky like I like 'em. He showed up at our studios because he was caught in the throes of his format's contract negotiations. When I saw him, I was kinda speechless. Not because he was cute -- he was -- but because I NEVER see other chocolate faces at my job. The conversation we had was one part interesting, one part amusing, but completely charming. Even though my interest in him was purely professional, we exchanged numbers. See, in addition to working as a radio engineer, he also has the inside track to this weekly show I like. For me, that was it. We exchanged a few texts, but nothing major. Then, one day he said that we should hang out. Since I'm always down for an adventure, I accepted. We ended up spending the day at the beach. We had a good time, but there were some definite red flags for me... For one, he didn't tip