Skip to main content

Turning 30: What I Wish I'd Known

One of my good friends is about to turn 30. She asked me if there was any information I could share with her that I wish I'd known at that age. That question alone is one of the many reasons I love this girl. Here's what I told her. Please feel free to add anything you think I left out.

Turning 30 is a milestone in a woman's life. It's not the end. In fact, it's more like the beginning. With that in mind, here are a few things I wish I knew when I reached it.

1. Have standards. That means that there should be some non-negotiables in your life. If drugs/smoking/etc. go against your personal code of ethics, don't settle for a person who engages those things just so you can say you have someone.

2. You are worth more than the sum of your parts. Guys will praise you for your body, but keep in mind that you have a brain that works quite well. If a man can't come up with more than, "You so fine," keep it moving.

3. Sometimes it's good to be alone. If you've jumped from relationship to relationship, you may need some time alone to figure out exactly who you are, what you want, and what you DON'T want from life, love, and career.

4. Try new things. I think we tend to look to our friends for validation in our 20s, which means that if our friends laugh at our ideas, we'll back off. Don't. Try that new restaurant. Take that class. Learn how to swim/knit/etc. Everything you try won't stick, but at least you'll know first-hand how you feel about whatever it is.

5. Surround yourself with positive people. Don't allow anyone in your circle that drains the life out of you. Am I saying be around people who think/talk/act like you? Not necessarily. You need some differing opinions in your camp to get different perspectives. However, if they love you, they'll know how to disagree without being disagreeable...and how to speak in love.

Comments

Unknown said…
Start moisturizing if you haven't already...beauty may be only skin deep...but we still want beautiful skin...at every age.

Start taking a multivitamin. Maintaining your health should begin before you have a reason to be concerned or before you are off your parent's medical plan.
Renea said…
Great advice. I always say you spend the first part of your 20s getting over your teens. By 25, you should be making better decisions and by 30 you shouldn't be putting up with foolishness.

Popular posts from this blog

He's Gone...For Real

My uncle died. He actually ceased to live. I don't know how to handle this. Even though he was my mother's brother, he was so much more than that to me. He was the coolest cat on the block, He set the standard that every man had to meet. He was the one I compared every man in my life to. For all intents and purposes, he was my de facto dad. I am stunned. I feel like someone knocked the wind out of my body. I grew up watching him. If he sat up straight, I wanted to sit up straight. I once caught him standing up to pee. I thought I'd do that when I grew up, too. (You can just imagine that conversation). That's the thing...he never shied away from my craziness. When I discovered what a father was -- at the tender age of five -- I purposed in my heart to find one for myself. I asked every man I knew, including him, if they'd be my daddy. He said, "I can't be your dad. I'm your uncle." When I pressed, he gently explained that he already had a significan...

I Own My Tears

I own my tears. I used this as a hashtag on a Facebook post. I was talking about the movie, "The Fault in Our Stars." If you've seen it, you know what I mean, and I won't spoil it for you. Of course, you know me -- it's deeper than that. I need to say it out loud... I own my tears. New Boo meant the world to me. He really did. Our relationship meant the world to me. It really, really did. And now it's over and he's gone -- seemingly for good. That makes me cry more than I want to, and more than I have ever imagined I would. And while I hate it, I need to do this. I need to mourn this thing in its entirety because it has truly changed my life. I own my tears. I own the fact that I am hurt. I own the fact that I'm mourning a relationship that I wanted to work more than life itself. I wanted to be a part of a couple, and eventually a family. That may well happen for me one day. Today, though, it doesn't look likely. So yes, I cry. And you ...

The Five Commandments of Houseguests

It's Sunday night, and I just put one of my girlfriends on the plane. She's a great person, but this weekend wore on me like none other. In her defense, she's in mourning. Her husband just died in September, and she's learning how to live again. They had been together since high school and now he's gone. That being said...there was NO excuse for the way she acted this weekend. Please understand...I'm not perfect. Never have been. And now that I'm 40, I don't feel the need to apologize for it. But NO ONE gets to make me feel inferior in MY house. Absolutely not! My house wasn't exactly in tip-top shape. I work two jobs, sing in the church choir, and try to work out with my trainer twice a week. So my house wasn't really ready for her. Then I realized that my mind wasn't ready for her, either. Even when we were in school, she wasn't the friend I could hang out with every day. More than that, she came with the very mentality th...