Random Musings of a Lonely Woman

Sometimes I wonder...

What did I do to end up single at 41.
Why none of the guys I loved really loved me back.
Where I'd be if I'd never taken chances.

Sometimes I wish...

That I was skinny and beautiful.
That I had children.
That I was a better housekeeper.

Sometimes I think...

That being me is better than being someone else.
That my choices have landed me in this quagmire of foolish indecision.
That I need more than I probably do.

Please explain to me why...

My job make me sad.
I want to unburden myself, but find myself too afraid to reveal my heart.
Rainy days make me too reflective.

This is one of those days that I wish I was lost in someone's arms. I'm so tired of being alone. Honestly, I just want to be someone's special someone. And I wonder if if I missed that train because I was too busy working, or socializing, or sleeping. I find myself reflecting on situations that were completely impossible, looking for the redemption that was never found. I'm tired.

And at the end of the day, with the exception of my job -- which REALLY wears my very soul -- I'm not in the worst place I could be. I just miss having a group of folks around who love me. And I miss having the attention of a man. It would be nice if some man paid attention to me every now and then. Geez...is that too much to ask?

Okay...done for now. Back to your regularly scheduled programming...