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Perfect Love in Imperfection

What does true love look like? It looks like your man sleeping on the floor of your rented room because he's been in your craptastic bed all night & he needs to stretch out because he just can't take it anymore. But he's there because he wants to be with you that badly. 

How could you possibly screw that up? By being the stupidest woman in the world. 

I should've known better, but I never thought the dude I gave my number to on a whim -- after I made it clear that I had a man that I loved with all my heart -- would try to make a power play and call me at midnight on a Saturday night. But he did, and then I had to answer questions about a situation that doesn't exist and explain the unexplainable to someone who's been hurt by people who were supposed to love him.

I'm so upset I don't know what to do. The LAST thing I ever want to do is hurt my baby. And that's what I've done. Now he's doubting me and all I stand for. And I can't blame him for that. I also don't know how to fix it. 

So have I screwed up the love of my life beyond repair? Only time will tell. But for now, my heart is sleeping on the floor of my rented room. Because he loves me. 

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Dear New Boo,

I knew that tonight would be a pivotal moment in our history, and you did not disappoint. No matter what I thought before this evening, you addressed everything I needed clarification on. Thank you for that.
I had all kinds of fanciful thoughts in my mind about what this evening would be. I took every scenario I could and played it out to its end. Each and every one of them. And when I got to the one that actually happened, I thought to myself, surely he won't let this happen. Surely he cares more than that. If he reached out, surely he'll follow through.
But no...not you. You did what you always do. You stood me up, and you let me down. Again. 
I shouldn't be surprised. In fact, I'm not. No matter how much faith I try to put in you, you constantly prove that you don't deserve it. No matter how much I try to see the good in you, you always manage to bring the worst to the forefront. And if my feelings are hurt, it's my fault for trying.
You don…