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Perfect Love in Imperfection

What does true love look like? It looks like your man sleeping on the floor of your rented room because he's been in your craptastic bed all night & he needs to stretch out because he just can't take it anymore. But he's there because he wants to be with you that badly. 

How could you possibly screw that up? By being the stupidest woman in the world. 

I should've known better, but I never thought the dude I gave my number to on a whim -- after I made it clear that I had a man that I loved with all my heart -- would try to make a power play and call me at midnight on a Saturday night. But he did, and then I had to answer questions about a situation that doesn't exist and explain the unexplainable to someone who's been hurt by people who were supposed to love him.

I'm so upset I don't know what to do. The LAST thing I ever want to do is hurt my baby. And that's what I've done. Now he's doubting me and all I stand for. And I can't blame him for that. I also don't know how to fix it. 

So have I screwed up the love of my life beyond repair? Only time will tell. But for now, my heart is sleeping on the floor of my rented room. Because he loves me. 

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Update

So...I finally unburdened myself to New Boo. I told him that I wasn't built for sneaking around and random treks down the primrose path to sin & degradation.

As expected, he told me, "I thought you wanted just to chill." Then he added -- almost as a smackdown, in my opinion -- "I'm not looking for any relationship. And you're the one who involved me."

He's right. I did. And now I can finally UN-involve him.

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Now the question of my life is...will I be moving on with My Teddy Bear, or on my own?

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