Excerpts from the Diary of a Diva

My Teddy Bear is getting under my skin. That's the only way I can describe what's happening right now. He's an adorable man who makes me laugh. I don't remember the last time I felt so good while being with someone. So why do I keep thinking about New Boo? It's crazy. When TMFKATO and I broke up, I was hurt, but I didn't really put a lot of energy into thinking about what I'd lost. I didn't have time because New Boo was all-consuming AND he was super jealous. Even when my ex died, New Boo made me feel like it was crazy to mourn him. So I didn't. I let him steer my thoughts. I let him steer my life. I let him run everything around me. I became what he SAID he wanted. Except I wasn't what he wanted. No matter how good, how faithful, how honest I was, I was NEVER going to be what he wanted. And believe me, I tried. I couldn't be what he wanted because he didn't know what he wanted. He was and is a miserable individual who doesn't w...

This man is going to teach me how to be in a relationship. He's going to make me a better woman because he's going to balance me out. I didn't know how off-kilter I really was. My Teddy Bear, in the role of my new boyfriend, got his social debut at our very first Chicken & Tequila party. (And yes, that's all we had -- chicken and tequila.) He came, he saw, he played cards, played with the kids, and completely charmed and impressed my friends. Then we came home. I knew he was tired, so I didn't trip when he conked out on me when we got home. But when we got up the next day, I was kinda bummed when he said he was tired. But then we had a discussion, and now I see the error of my freaky ways. Inasmuch as I've wanted a relationship, I've never really known how to get past relations. New Boo wasn't able to help me because he was so busy hiding. Since he didn't offer me insight into him, I took sex to mean intimacy. And while I've always know...

My Teddy Bear & I are official. After spending an adorable Valentine's Day together, he asked me how I'd feel if we were to stop dating and be in a relationship. I readily agreed because I love him (even though I haven't told him yet.) It's only been a month, but I think he's got the goods. So why did I have a New Boo moment? MTB and I went to see Daley in concert last night. (SN: If he comes to your town, I highly recommend you going. He's dope, for sure, but his opening act was great, too. Katy Shotter is her name. Just saying...) One of my favorite songs in "Be." The lyrics say, "If don't know what to say, I promise not to make you feel bad. You're not the only one afraid to say you're still in love." When I was going through the thick of my pain, I longed to hear NB say that he loved me. Even though every one of his actions said otherwise, I wanted it so bad. Thankfully, I moved past that into this new reality, but h...