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Marathon vs. Sprint

This man is going to teach me how to be in a relationship. He's going to make me a better woman because he's going to balance me out. I didn't know how off-kilter I really was.

My Teddy Bear, in the role of my new boyfriend, got his social debut at our very first Chicken & Tequila party. (And yes, that's all we had -- chicken and tequila.) He came, he saw, he played cards, played with the kids, and completely charmed and impressed my friends. Then we came home.

I knew he was tired, so I didn't trip when he conked out on me when we got home. But when we got up the next day, I was kinda bummed when he said he was tired. But then we had a discussion, and now I see the error of my freaky ways.

Inasmuch as I've wanted a relationship, I've never really known how to get past relations. New Boo wasn't able to help me because he was so busy hiding. Since he didn't offer me insight into him, I took sex to mean intimacy. And while I've always known that relations don't equal a relationship, no one's REALLY offered me the whole enchilada. So I took all of that I could get while waiting for the other shoe to drop.

It's a sick, vicious cycle...one I've become too accustomed to. And MTB knows better -- which is why he said what he said. So now, I'm going to truly learn what a real relationship looks like and how it works. In other words, the marathon vs. the sprint.

I hope I'm up for the challenge...

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So...I finally unburdened myself to New Boo. I told him that I wasn't built for sneaking around and random treks down the primrose path to sin & degradation.

As expected, he told me, "I thought you wanted just to chill." Then he added -- almost as a smackdown, in my opinion -- "I'm not looking for any relationship. And you're the one who involved me."

He's right. I did. And now I can finally UN-involve him.

I'm not angry. I have no right to be. But I AM finally able to get a bit of closure. And maybe NOW I can move on.

Now the question of my life is...will I be moving on with My Teddy Bear, or on my own?

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