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What Love Looks Like

Things may be going crazy at my job, but I can honestly say that my love life is better than ever.

My Teddy Bear is making me believe in love again. After New Boo, I wasn't sure that I could actually give my heart away. MTB is changing that slowly but surely. And he's not doing it in a crazy, passionate way. His is more methodical and very different from what I'm used to.

This weekend, we went to a surprise party for his best friend. It was my debut into polite society, or as I like to call it, my time as the speckled pup at the dog & pony show. And when I say he took me around and introduced me to everyone as his girlfriend, I only say it because it's true. What I loved is that they were so happy for him. One of his aunts almost cried.

Later that night, we were at karaoke when he told me that I was a big hit with his people. He was so happy, and it showed. And that made me happy, too.

I don't know what the future holds for us, but I know that he'll do his very best to protect and love me. He's showing me that I truly mean something to him -- and not just for my "skills." He loves the woman behind all that.

I'm truly grateful.

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I just left the doctor, where we discussed my fibroid. She said it was huge. So huge, in fact, that she couldn't get it all. If there's a need for another surgery, it'll be a hysterectomy.

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So...I finally unburdened myself to New Boo. I told him that I wasn't built for sneaking around and random treks down the primrose path to sin & degradation.

As expected, he told me, "I thought you wanted just to chill." Then he added -- almost as a smackdown, in my opinion -- "I'm not looking for any relationship. And you're the one who involved me."

He's right. I did. And now I can finally UN-involve him.

I'm not angry. I have no right to be. But I AM finally able to get a bit of closure. And maybe NOW I can move on.

Now the question of my life is...will I be moving on with My Teddy Bear, or on my own?

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