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Uh Oh...

When New Boo and I broke up, he said, "As long as we're both alive, there'll be a chance for us." Now that My Teddy Bear is on the scene, it's unlikely.

But now New Boo wants to see me.

I kinda want to see him, too.

Here's the deal. I gave New Boo my heart. My whole heart. And he broke it -- and me -- in 20 million different pieces. Crushed it, actually. Even though I didn't want to, I gave him everything The Man Formerly Known as The One -- who will now be known as RIP -- earned. I know it was crazy, but in hindsight that's exactly what I did. That's why I think I took it so hard when we broke up. I was mourning what I had with both of them. Since RIP died, I invested everything in New Boo.

When he broke me, I had to regroup and put myself together. MTB has been a big part of that process, but not every part. And there's still a part of me that wants to know for sure if I'm completely over him. I can't do that unless I see him. It's been a year.

Seeing him could do two things -- confirm that I'm completely over him...or open up old, unresolved feelings.

The way I see it, if I don't meet him in a controlled environment, I might see him when I'm not ready. That would be worse, in my opinion.

I just don't know...

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