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The (Real) Final Straw

So...I thought I had gone through just about every emotion I could with New Boo. I've got a new one now -- complete and utter disgust.

One of my good friends is in town. She was one of the few people who got to meet him when we lived together. So we were catching up, and I was telling her about My Teddy Bear. I described him as being New Boo's polar opposite. She said, "Oh, so he's got home training, he's respectable, and he doesn't try to hit on your friends when you go to the bathroom."

Huh?

She said, "I didn't mention it at the time because we'd all been drinking, and I wasn't exactly sure how to handle it. Besides, I knew y'all wouldn't be together long." And she was right. That happened in March and we were done by June.

Of all the dirty, sneaky, underhanded actions he took, this was the lowest. Up until then, he'd just been someone who didn't work out. Now I know him for the lowlife dog he really is.

I blocked his number for real this time -- and I'm not looking back. He can rot in the pit of Hell for all I care.

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I just left the doctor, where we discussed my fibroid. She said it was huge. So huge, in fact, that she couldn't get it all. If there's a need for another surgery, it'll be a hysterectomy.

I want babies. I want to be someone's mother. I also want to be someone's wife before I become someone's mother. And therein lies my dilemma.

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Update

So...I finally unburdened myself to New Boo. I told him that I wasn't built for sneaking around and random treks down the primrose path to sin & degradation.

As expected, he told me, "I thought you wanted just to chill." Then he added -- almost as a smackdown, in my opinion -- "I'm not looking for any relationship. And you're the one who involved me."

He's right. I did. And now I can finally UN-involve him.

I'm not angry. I have no right to be. But I AM finally able to get a bit of closure. And maybe NOW I can move on.

Now the question of my life is...will I be moving on with My Teddy Bear, or on my own?

PS: I think the onset of my period caused me to be in my feelings.