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My Two-Cents on the Suleman Situation

Unless you've been under a rock, you've heard about the case of the 33-year-old California woman who just gave birth to octuplets. Not only is Nadya Suleman single and lives at home with her parents, she's also the mother of six other children. The recent birth brings her total to 14 children under the age of eight.

At this point, the questions are flying around -- why would anyone with six kids allow herself to be implanted with eight embryos? What fertility doctor would allow a woman with six children to have eight embryos implanted? Investigations are currently underway, and I'm sure the media will keep us abreast of her every move from now until Jesus comes.

While I personally think Ms. Suleman is insane, my problem with her is the same one I have with any single woman who chooses to become a mother without the benefit of a man. It's unfair to the child. Children deserve to have a mother AND a father.

Now don't get me wrong. I know that women are capable of raising children alone. I'm keenly aware of it because my mother was a single parent. We all know folks who are raising children alone after a death or divorce. And while it's a sad state of affairs, there are PLENTY of men who shirk their responsibilities when it comes to their children. In fact, the majority of single mothers I know didn't think they'd actually be raising a child or children by themselves.

However, it's one thing to have a baby and have the man, for whatever reason, abandon his family. It's another thing all together when there was never a man in the picture. I personally find it extremely selfish.

It's like this -- each one of us is a product of our mothers and our fathers. Their DNA determines the color of our hair and eyes, and in a lot of cases, our personalities and proclivities. When there isn't a father in the picture, a child has no way of understanding a) what a father is, and b) why Mom, Grandma, and Uncle John are all dark-skinned while he or she is fair-skinned with green eyes.

Case in point: as a small child, there wasn't any talk of a daddy. When I went to school, some kids would talk about their fathers. I was like, "What's that?" Obviously, there weren't many five-year-olds who could explain such a lofty ideal, so I was left thinking that anyone could fill the position. I remember asking all the men I knew, "Will you be my daddy?" The guys were always polite in their refusals, but I'm sure my mother was embarrassed.

As I got older, I understood that I didn't have a father, but that opened up other questions for me. Why? What was so wrong with me that my father didn't want me? These are questions that still haunt me today.

All I'm saying to Nadya and other women like her -- please take the time to consider the children you're bringing into the world. Yes, you want a baby, but don't they deserve a family?


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