Skip to main content

The War is Over and Other Stuff...

After a week of being angry with Mr. Wonderful, I decided to let it go. As I told you before, I'm not cut out for war. I'm a woman of peace. And our weekend was great. We ended up hanging out at Venice Beach with friends. Overall, a good time was had by all. Were the issues resolved? Not really, but sometimes you have to concede to live peacefully.

So now we move on from the personal to the professional. And that's where the next conflict begins...

My boss tripped out on me. Big time. And even if I did kinda deserve it, the way she went about it was completely uncalled for. Here's what happened...

We have to write scripts, which are made up of four stories. She assigns these, and we work on them. I had just finished a script on Thursday, so I was waiting for her to assign me four more on Friday. In the meantime, I did what any other person would do while waiting...checked my email, updated my Facebook page, etc. After a while, I was like, "Uh, maybe I should look for something to write." So I did and sent them to her. She was like, "What have you been doing for the last three hours? Just go home."

(Sidebar: You may be wondering why I didn't just look for my own stories in the first place. I've done that before, and she shoots down each and every one of them. Since I obviously don't know what to look for, I just let her do it. Call me crazy, but I'm not equipped to handle that type of rejection on a regular basis.)

Anyway, her trying to send me home threw me for a loop. I've worked at a lot of places, but I've NEVER had a supervisor attempt to send me home -- at least not when I haven't been fired. I didn't think it was appropriate so I went to her and she basically said she didn't have time to deal with me. Is that my fault? I didn't think so, so I thought I'd better try to do something to save this situation.

Before I could, it got worse! Our job gives us free lunch every week. Since it was only five minutes before our weekly meal, there was no way I was gonna leave before that. When I went to get a plate, she was like, 'I don't believe you're gonna take the free food when you haven't done anything!' And she said this in front of my coworkers! I couldn't believe it, but I kept my composure. She finally managed to find something for me to do.

A couple of my coworkers, who are absolutely wonderful, took me out for a drink after work and explained the dynamics of where I work and the nature of my supervisor. This has been very helpful, and I'm just staying as busy as possible.

And while this situation was ugly, I finally recognized it for what it attempt to get me off my game. See, when things are going well, I have a tendency not to pray like I should. This incident made me see that diligence is still in order -- even when things are going well. And God has been faithful, so I'm excited.

Moving on...


Popular posts from this blog

My Personal Superhero

My Teddy Bear continues to prove that he loves me in ways I never thought about.

As I told you before, I've been dealing with health issues. It's not pretty at all. I won't go into details, but let's just say that it's messy and leaves me weak sometimes. Weaker than I'd ever want to admit, actually.

Anyway, a friend of mine was coming to visit and I was trying to get my house ready. I managed to clean my bedroom and the bathroom before MTB came over. All I had to do was get the living room and kitchen together. But my body wasn't cooperating at all. I was in so much pain that I laid it down.

I woke up the next morning in a complete mess from my issue. After I got up to clean myself up, he says to me, "Go lay down. I'm gonna finish up for you." I wanted to argue, but I couldn't because I was in too much pain.

That man cleaned my apartment. All of it. Swept AND mopped my floors and did all my dishes. And did it with a smile.

Just thinking ab…

Now What?

I don't know what I'm gonna do. I am having issues right now.

First of all, I'm realizing some things about myself that I really don't like admitting. For one, I am NOT satisfied with My Teddy Bear. Why, you ask? Because sex isn't a priority with him.

Some people drink. Some smoke. I like to have sex. It quiets the voices in my head that talk crazy to me. For those brief, shining moments, I get to be the best of me. I'm beautiful, sexy, and desirable. No matter how fat I am, in that moment I'm able to make someone else feel good. That makes me feel good. Also,  I know how to relate on that level, so everything that I perceive to be wrong with me goes out the window.

MTB doesn't know this. Even though I've always felt this way, I don't talk about it. Most of the guys I know actually want sex. They probably use it the way I do -- as a feel-good situation.

Things with New Boo weren't like that. We had a real connection. Or at least I thought we…

The End

Dear New Boo,

I knew that tonight would be a pivotal moment in our history, and you did not disappoint. No matter what I thought before this evening, you addressed everything I needed clarification on. Thank you for that.
I had all kinds of fanciful thoughts in my mind about what this evening would be. I took every scenario I could and played it out to its end. Each and every one of them. And when I got to the one that actually happened, I thought to myself, surely he won't let this happen. Surely he cares more than that. If he reached out, surely he'll follow through.
But no...not you. You did what you always do. You stood me up, and you let me down. Again. 
I shouldn't be surprised. In fact, I'm not. No matter how much faith I try to put in you, you constantly prove that you don't deserve it. No matter how much I try to see the good in you, you always manage to bring the worst to the forefront. And if my feelings are hurt, it's my fault for trying.
You don…