Skip to main content
There's always that one. The one person you'd change your entire life for if they asked you to. Whether it's the first man you ever loved, the first guy who saw you naked, or the first man to bring you flowers, if he said, "Marry me, and travel with me around the world," you'd quit your job and hop on the first thing smoking.

Alas, I haven't met him yet. Actually...that's not true. I have met him. But he doesn't want me. So rather than admit that the one guy I'd leave it all for wouldn't be caught dead with me, I say we don't know each other.

I read an article this week that I found to be very informative. It was talking about how men will use any woman who allows herself to be used. And while I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that I don't want that kind of life, I recognized myself in all those women. I've been there. And there are times (like today) when it would be nice to have someone around...even if they're using me.

Just in case you're wondering, this is one of those days where I'm watching Sex & The City reruns and wishing my life were different. Wishing that I had someone in my life who'd love me enough to come get me. And I miss my friends. Quiet as it's kept, when a woman has friends to commiserate with, she's usually much less lonely than when she's completely by herself.

This makes Year 4 in LA, and I still have no one to call for brunch on Sunday afternoon who's willing to chat, eat, and get crazy drunk with me. No running buddy to shop with, or have drinks with, or just chill with. And that's not good. Sometimes you need a person around who'll help you keep the lonely at bay.

So, this is how I'm feeling today. To sum it up, I'm tired of being alone...and I want to have some friends to kick it with. Period, the end.

*And now, back to your regularly scheduled programming*


Anonymous said…
Girl, I hear you on the lonely thing. Friends certainly do help you forget how manless you are. LOL
You need to go ahead and start looking for work back out this way.
I know I could use a "great" friend in TX. Even if yo lived in Dallas, I would be up there all the time.
Can't wait to hear who this man is you would leave it all for. I can't imagine who in the heck you're talking about. LOL
JB said…
Hi! I agree with your friend that where you live can really affect your social life. The local culture is so very different in LA, NYC, and Texas. You might as well be in different countries.

I have to thank you. I've been reading your blog like it's a book. I love your writing, poignant, funny, thought-provoking. You have a real gem in the way you captured President Obama's campaign and inauguration. I've also followed the rest and I love how all of it weaves together.

Thanks and keep writing! jb
Anonymous said…
I just happened to come upon your blog today (while surreptitious avoiding work). I have picked up and moved quite a bit in the last few years, so I can completely understand how you are feelilng. On more occasions than I would like to admit, I have called my mom and said, "if I just had one friend, it would be so much easier". If you haven't tried it yet, you should register for It is a website that lists all sorts of activities by interest (such as running clubs, book groups, french speakers, etc) and it is a great way to make new friends.

Popular posts from this blog

Ah Ha!

I didn't do it. It wasn't entirely my fault. New Boo got a whiff of my new thought process and decided I wasn't worth the trouble. And what was it that rubbed him the wrong way?

I told him that I finally saw Jay-Z in a different light because I could see his grown man thought process. That made him mad because he thought I was "starstruck." Considering what I do for a living, that's the LAST thing on my mind. I told him that I liked the way he made up his mind to move away from the mistakes of his youth. His thought was that he could only do that because he had money.

On the contrary. If Jay still had the same mentality he had as a younger man, he might be rich, but he wouldn't have his family. New Boo wants to use anything as an excuse to be a bum. Not my problem, right?

So the foolishness that almost happened didn't. I'm thankful.

Now I'm recovering from fibroid surgery. This time, it was done right. My doctor said she got every one she saw,…

We'll See...

Yesterday was New Boo's birthday. We were supposed to go out and celebrate. While there had been talk of getting a room, we had settled on going out to dinner and taking it from there.
We didn't make it. He ended up with some sort of stomach ailment and didn't want to come out.
It's his birthday. Why was I disappointed?
Once again...I got my hopes up and believed him. Once again...he let me down.
But wait...a glimmer of hope in what could've been a very dim situation...
We talked for three hours. We broke down some things that had never been addressed throughout our relationship.
We finally admitted that we got caught up in a wave of passion. We moved too fast and never really got to know each other. 
He told me that he wants me in his life and values my friendship. This time, because he respects and cares about me, he wants to do it right and take it one step at a time. Basically capture we missed the first time around.
Could this be what I've been waiting fo…

For My Friend...

I miss her.

Even though it's been almost 25 years since my friend was snatched away from me in the most heinous fashion I could possible imagine, I still think of her.

She was so much fun. We would giggle for hours on end about any and everything. We were so young. Life was just beginning for us, and we couldn't wait to get out and live it.

She never made it out.

A guy she liked -- one I introduced her to -- made an executive decision to take her life because she wouldn't give up her TV for his drug habit. How I wish she would've let the TV go. If we'd known then how the medium would devolve, she would have.

She missed everything.

The internet, two-way pagers, text messages, social media, smartphones, aging...she was gone before any of that came into play.

There are times I wonder how she'd be. Would we still be friends or would our relationship go the way of so many college friendships? Would she be married with kids? Would she be a successful superwoman with …