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Hmm...What Just Happened Here?

Relationships aren't easy. Anyone who says otherwise is a damn liar. Then again, maybe they can be and I'm just in the wrong one.

What started off as a regular conversation spiraled into a "screw you, bitch" before I could catch it. The killer part? He hung up on me in the process.

Here's where I should mention that I love him. I really do. That's why when I get mad at him, I try to give him the benefit of the doubt. I try not to jump to the worst possible conclusion. Does that make me some kind of saint? Absolutely not. In fact, at this point, I feel like some kind of idiot.

Be all that as it may, I will take a lot of ish from the one I love. But I find hanging up on a person to be one of the most disrespectful things you can do. It's like you don't even deem the other person's response to whatever you've said worthy of your attention. It's the one thing that's (almost) unforgivable.

So now I'm facing a crossroad. Should I go off or should I be calm as usual? I don't really know what to do because I've never been in this situation with someone I actually loved. Usually I just write them off, no problem. But the game changes when real love is involved. Now it's a matter of figuring out if it's worth it to fight this out, or if I should just let it slide and pretend like I'm past it when he asks.

Of course, all of this is contingent on him calling. For a change, I'm not going to be the bigger person. I'm going to let him clear this one up. And if he doesn't, that'll let me know exactly where I stand with him.

And let's be real honest here -- the ONLY reason he's gotten away with the stuff he has in the past is that we're embroiled in a long-distance relationship. If we were in the same vicinity all the time, I'm sure we would've yelled this out a looooog time ago.

All of which brings me back to my original thought -- relationships aren't easy. Almost makes you wonder why we bother. But I know why. Love is the one thing that's worth pursuing and cultivating above all. Even in my state of borderline bitterness, I know that.

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So...I finally unburdened myself to New Boo. I told him that I wasn't built for sneaking around and random treks down the primrose path to sin & degradation.

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