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What Gives...

No matter how perfect a relationship starts, there will be bumps in the road. The test of what you really have is how you take them. Right now, I'm not taking this bump particularly well.

Here's the deal. I'm living with the craziest roommate in the world. This chick keeps freakin' tools in the freezer. Don't believe me? I wouldn't believe me, either, but I have proof.



New Boo lives a block away from one of the nicest areas I've seen in Brooklyn. And his whole block isn't bad. But the half of the block where he lives is horrid, and his building is the worst of them all. And that's in addition to it being a fourth-floor walkup and him having a roommate.

Needless to say, neither one of us likes our living situation. And because we don't live alone, the thought of us being together while either one of our roommates is home just isn't pleasant. And I get that. But today was the first time ever that we were off at the same time, and I was looking forward to being with him. But his roommate just got back from a three-week vacay, and my crazy roommate is here with company. So there's nowhere for us to go.

I probably wouldn't be so upset, but I'm a woman of a certain age...and I don't feel like I need to live like this. He's not too far from my age, so he doesn't need to live like this either. And while we could've gotten a hotel room -- a nice one because I have a premium hookup -- we both know that spending money on stuff like that while trying to save money for an apartment isn't wise.

That's why I'm going out alone tonight. I have two parties to hit, and while I really don't want to go alone, I think it might be good for me because I've been focusing my whole life on him. Tonight and tomorrow, I'm doing me. If he wants to be a part of it, he'll let me know. Until then, watch out, world...MackDiva is on the loose!

And please know this...I still love New Boo with all my heart and soul. If anyone asks, I am in love madly and truly. But I don't like being alone...at all.

Comments

JB said…
It's never perfect. Sometimes, after a hard week, my husband and I will be in the kitchen making lunches and I'll turn to him and say, "We really need a break."

And my imperfect husband will turn to me, grin, and say, "There are no breaks." Drives me nuts.

Hang in and enjoy the ride with someone you love.

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As I told you before, I've been dealing with health issues. It's not pretty at all. I won't go into details, but let's just say that it's messy and leaves me weak sometimes. Weaker than I'd ever want to admit, actually.

Anyway, a friend of mine was coming to visit and I was trying to get my house ready. I managed to clean my bedroom and the bathroom before MTB came over. All I had to do was get the living room and kitchen together. But my body wasn't cooperating at all. I was in so much pain that I laid it down.

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Update

So...I finally unburdened myself to New Boo. I told him that I wasn't built for sneaking around and random treks down the primrose path to sin & degradation.

As expected, he told me, "I thought you wanted just to chill." Then he added -- almost as a smackdown, in my opinion -- "I'm not looking for any relationship. And you're the one who involved me."

He's right. I did. And now I can finally UN-involve him.

I'm not angry. I have no right to be. But I AM finally able to get a bit of closure. And maybe NOW I can move on.

Now the question of my life is...will I be moving on with My Teddy Bear, or on my own?

PS: I think the onset of my period caused me to be in my feelings.