Skip to main content

What Gives...

No matter how perfect a relationship starts, there will be bumps in the road. The test of what you really have is how you take them. Right now, I'm not taking this bump particularly well.

Here's the deal. I'm living with the craziest roommate in the world. This chick keeps freakin' tools in the freezer. Don't believe me? I wouldn't believe me, either, but I have proof.



New Boo lives a block away from one of the nicest areas I've seen in Brooklyn. And his whole block isn't bad. But the half of the block where he lives is horrid, and his building is the worst of them all. And that's in addition to it being a fourth-floor walkup and him having a roommate.

Needless to say, neither one of us likes our living situation. And because we don't live alone, the thought of us being together while either one of our roommates is home just isn't pleasant. And I get that. But today was the first time ever that we were off at the same time, and I was looking forward to being with him. But his roommate just got back from a three-week vacay, and my crazy roommate is here with company. So there's nowhere for us to go.

I probably wouldn't be so upset, but I'm a woman of a certain age...and I don't feel like I need to live like this. He's not too far from my age, so he doesn't need to live like this either. And while we could've gotten a hotel room -- a nice one because I have a premium hookup -- we both know that spending money on stuff like that while trying to save money for an apartment isn't wise.

That's why I'm going out alone tonight. I have two parties to hit, and while I really don't want to go alone, I think it might be good for me because I've been focusing my whole life on him. Tonight and tomorrow, I'm doing me. If he wants to be a part of it, he'll let me know. Until then, watch out, world...MackDiva is on the loose!

And please know this...I still love New Boo with all my heart and soul. If anyone asks, I am in love madly and truly. But I don't like being alone...at all.

Comments

JB said…
It's never perfect. Sometimes, after a hard week, my husband and I will be in the kitchen making lunches and I'll turn to him and say, "We really need a break."

And my imperfect husband will turn to me, grin, and say, "There are no breaks." Drives me nuts.

Hang in and enjoy the ride with someone you love.

Popular posts from this blog

On Barack, the Nomination, and Black Love

I'm so excited about Barack Obama! I know I'm just joining the teeming millions when I say that, but I think something this big is worth repeating. Never before in the history of our country has a Black man been in a position to lead the free world, and it feels good. I'm so glad that I've lived long enough to see this day.

Beside the fact that Barack is a great candidate for the Democratic party, I'm moved by his relationship with Michelle. Not since The Cosby Show have we seen a successful Black couple who have a genuine and sincere love and respect for one another. What makes their relationship so special is that it's real -- not the product of someone's imagination.

I obviously don't know Michelle Obama, but I want to grow up to be just like her. I love the fact that she doesn't NEED Barack. She's strong, smart, and successful in her own right, yet secure enough to fall back and be supportive of her man. That's something that all y…

In My Feelings...Again

There are times when I think I should change the name of this blog. Today I do NOT feel like a diva. I feel like a pitiful mess of a woman who's completely in my feelings.

I hate it when I get here.

I was minding my business last night when Juice hit me up. (Remind me to tell you about him later.) He wanted to hang out because we'd actually said we would. But he's he's only after one thing and I wasn't inspired enough to venture out to deal with him, so I told him I was in for the evening.

At the same time, New Boo asked me if I'd done my hair.

Let's be clear. My hair in and of itself isn't necessarily that big a deal. However, him asking me about it could indicate that I was on his mind and that he cared about me in more than a horizontal way. That would be awesome...but I know it's not true. Even though I engaged in conversation with him -- because that's what I do -- it was painful.

I am lonely. I want to be with someone who cares about me. I…

Out of Time

Time. You always think you have more...until you don't. I'm there.

I just left the doctor, where we discussed my fibroid. She said it was huge. So huge, in fact, that she couldn't get it all. If there's a need for another surgery, it'll be a hysterectomy.

I want babies. I want to be someone's mother. I also want to be someone's wife before I become someone's mother. And therein lies my dilemma.

It would be stupid for me to have a baby with My Teddy Bear. That's the reality of my life right now. But it would be even stupider to have a child with New Boo. Not only does he not want any more babies, he does't take care of the ones he already has. I would be an absolute idiot to attempt procreation with him. And as quiet as it's kept, I'm not interested in raising a child alone. I want my baby to have a mother AND a father.

So here I am, a 46-year-old woman who's run out of time.