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Flashback...

I am remembering love.

I realize I don't have it now.

Two years ago, I was in love. Truly, madly, deeply. There was no question about my feelings or my allegiances. I was all in -- heart, mind, and soul. The connection New Boo and I had at this time two years ago was so deep, so strong, so everything it needed to be that I thought it would never be broken.

Five months later, it was.

Now, we're not friends and barely lovers. I realize he's trying to purge me from his system. He never trusted me and my love for him, and now he's trying to get rid of me. He's trying to make me the slut he needs me to be so he can walk away from me and say, "She was no good anyway. She didn't deserve me."

And I've been letting him. I'm proving to him that I'm not worth it. I'm whoring around with him the way he always thought I was when we were together.

What the hell is wrong with me?

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The End

Dear New Boo,

I knew that tonight would be a pivotal moment in our history, and you did not disappoint. No matter what I thought before this evening, you addressed everything I needed clarification on. Thank you for that.
I had all kinds of fanciful thoughts in my mind about what this evening would be. I took every scenario I could and played it out to its end. Each and every one of them. And when I got to the one that actually happened, I thought to myself, surely he won't let this happen. Surely he cares more than that. If he reached out, surely he'll follow through.
But no...not you. You did what you always do. You stood me up, and you let me down. Again. 
I shouldn't be surprised. In fact, I'm not. No matter how much faith I try to put in you, you constantly prove that you don't deserve it. No matter how much I try to see the good in you, you always manage to bring the worst to the forefront. And if my feelings are hurt, it's my fault for trying.
You don…