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Tick-Tock...

My Teddy Bear doesn't realize it, but his days are numbered. I care for him too much to keep him in my sick and twisted fantasy.

He doesn't deserve what I'm putting him through -- even if he doesn't know what's going on.

And what is going on, you ask? I'm not in love with him.

He's a great guy -- no doubt. But the love I had for him died a slow, painful death in the midst of lies, manipulations, and no sex. If that makes me sound superficial, I'm sorry.

Trust me when I tell you that I tried. Lord knows I did. I did everything I possibly could to make things good. I tried to understand when he told me that sex wasn't the only way to be intimate. I checked my emotions when he told me that the way I relayed information was too roundabout to be good for him. I shut up when he shut down my ideas, thoughts, feelings. I really did.

Now there's nothing left. But I care for him too much to hurt him right now.

Of course, one could argue that everyday I make him think that what we have can last is one more day that'll hurt him. And they'd probably be right.

I'm just as wrong as New Boo was when he lived with me and wouldn't come home. And I hate myself for it.

Some days I think we can work it out. I haven't completely abandoned that idea, actually.

I think if I lay my case out to him, he might come around. Or he may accuse me of being too superficial...too selfish and self-centered...to be worthy of his love.

Either way...something's got to give. I'm not getting any younger and neither is he. We both deserve to be happy -- even if it's not with each other.

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The End

Dear New Boo,

I knew that tonight would be a pivotal moment in our history, and you did not disappoint. No matter what I thought before this evening, you addressed everything I needed clarification on. Thank you for that.
I had all kinds of fanciful thoughts in my mind about what this evening would be. I took every scenario I could and played it out to its end. Each and every one of them. And when I got to the one that actually happened, I thought to myself, surely he won't let this happen. Surely he cares more than that. If he reached out, surely he'll follow through.
But no...not you. You did what you always do. You stood me up, and you let me down. Again. 
I shouldn't be surprised. In fact, I'm not. No matter how much faith I try to put in you, you constantly prove that you don't deserve it. No matter how much I try to see the good in you, you always manage to bring the worst to the forefront. And if my feelings are hurt, it's my fault for trying.
You don…