My therapist helped me find the root of my issues.
Rejection.
Pretty much everything I've ever done is tied to my deep-seated fear of rejection. And if I let my mind wander, it goes back to my earliest memories.
When I was little and my grandmother told me that not everyone would love me.
When I was five, I tried to find a dad among my mom's friends. I figured you could just ask someone to be your father. Who knew biology was involved?
When we moved back to Texas and the kids teased me for the way I talked. They said I was "proper" and "thought I was White."
My therapist told me a few weeks ago that I had tolerated too many things. Now I see why...because of my fear of being rejected.
Now I have to figure out how to fix that. Ugh..
Rejection.
Pretty much everything I've ever done is tied to my deep-seated fear of rejection. And if I let my mind wander, it goes back to my earliest memories.
When I was little and my grandmother told me that not everyone would love me.
When I was five, I tried to find a dad among my mom's friends. I figured you could just ask someone to be your father. Who knew biology was involved?
When we moved back to Texas and the kids teased me for the way I talked. They said I was "proper" and "thought I was White."
My therapist told me a few weeks ago that I had tolerated too many things. Now I see why...because of my fear of being rejected.
Now I have to figure out how to fix that. Ugh..
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