Skip to main content

Been So Long…

It’s been a while since I’ve visited this space to share. What can I say? Life has been life-ing.

I moved back to Texas. I can honestly say that it wasn’t my intention, but it was necessary because I wouldn’t have any peace in New York with my mom’s health in jeopardy.

I finally put New Boo in the rear view. He comes up in my thoughts on occasion, but not like before. I still have love for him…probably always will…but I can function without wondering about him every moment of the day. 

Now it’s all about Tinderfella. If you recall, I met him during the initial breakup. While I recognized him as someone special, I was in no way equipped to be with him. I was too broken. Eight years later, I’m so glad we waited. While I’m probably still crazy on some level, I think we have a real shot.

First let me give some context… 

I was in the middle of doing my show when he hit me up on my fan page. It was strange for two reasons — one, most of my friends just hit me on my regular page, and two, I literally hadn’t heard from him in eight years. We caught up with everything and then he dropped a bombshell that had me twisted.

When New Boo and I broke up, I was a wreck. I was crying every day. Literally. I met Tinderfella in an attempt to move on. Although he was super sweet, I wasn’t in any way ready to receive him and what he offered. I was so jacked up that I found myself in beginning stalker mode. That’s why the opportunity to go to California was so needed. I needed to get out of the city.

Tinderfella had no clue about what was going on with me. That’s why the news of me leaving was so devastating. He told me that he’d planned to ask me to be exclusive that same day.

I was shocked, to say the least. I’m actually glad we didn’t because we probably would’ve hated each other. As it stands, we’re making plans together.

I’m at a loss because I’ve never been here before.

He actually wants the same things I want, and he wants them with me. We talk every day and I feel strange if we go too long without contact. I want to share all my deep, dark secrets with him and he shares his with me. Reciprocity seems to be the name of the game, and I love it.

So why am I terrified?

Most relationships are good until they’re not. This one is so good right now. He makes me want to believe in forever. I see myself standing in front of my friends and family declaring love and devotion to his man…and he doesn’t seem to be opposed to it. He welcomes it. He talks about us like we have a future.

The last time I felt anything close to this was with New Boo. But while he was just saying what I wanted to hear, that doesn’t seem to be the case with Tinderfella. He seems sincere in all the right ways. Of course, until I look in his eyes and see what I want to see, it won’t be completely real.

I do hope it is because I need this in my life right now.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

A New Possibility?

If you've been reading EFTDOAD for any length of time, you've probably noticed that I haven't really talked about a man. By that, I mean a man of my own. What's really sad is that there hasn't been a man in my life for the entire time I've been writing this blog. I hate that. However, things may be looking up for me. One of my good friends hosts a forum in Los Angeles called " Battle of the Sexes ." This monthly event consists of guys and girls submitting questions anonymously to the moderators, with the answers being discussed in an open forum. It can get quite rowdy, and the discussions are always enlightening. For most of us, it's the first time we've really heard what members of the opposite sex think. I've been attending these Battles for a few months now. Even though I'm not a fan of mindless rhetoric, it's cool to be around some single people who can think and put together coherent sentences. The last couple of times I'v
There's always that one. The one person you'd change your entire life for if they asked you to. Whether it's the first man you ever loved, the first guy who saw you naked, or the first man to bring you flowers, if he said, "Marry me, and travel with me around the world," you'd quit your job and hop on the first thing smoking. Alas, I haven't met him yet. Actually...that's not true. I have met him. But he doesn't want me. So rather than admit that the one guy I'd leave it all for wouldn't be caught dead with me, I say we don't know each other. I read an article this week that I found to be very informative. It was talking about how men will use any woman who allows herself to be used. And while I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that I don't want that kind of life, I recognized myself in all those women. I've been there. And there are times (like today) when it would be nice to have someone around...even if they're

The Five Commandments of Houseguests

It's Sunday night, and I just put one of my girlfriends on the plane. She's a great person, but this weekend wore on me like none other. In her defense, she's in mourning. Her husband just died in September, and she's learning how to live again. They had been together since high school and now he's gone. That being said...there was NO excuse for the way she acted this weekend. Please understand...I'm not perfect. Never have been. And now that I'm 40, I don't feel the need to apologize for it. But NO ONE gets to make me feel inferior in MY house. Absolutely not! My house wasn't exactly in tip-top shape. I work two jobs, sing in the church choir, and try to work out with my trainer twice a week. So my house wasn't really ready for her. Then I realized that my mind wasn't ready for her, either. Even when we were in school, she wasn't the friend I could hang out with every day. More than that, she came with the very mentality th