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Observations of Bereavement

Now that I've been in bereavement mode for over a month, here are a few things I've observed...

I've been hinting at this before, but now it's official -- the bereaved mind is completely delusional. Think about it. No matter how a raggedy a person is in life, everyone celebrates them when they die. Pookie could have sold drugs, had 15 kids by 13 baby mamas, and the day he gets shot, he becomes St. Pookie the Divine in the eyes of those who love him. Maybe not quite divine, but you get the picture.

Grieving can really work up an appetite. It's hard work being sad. Even though I'm not crying as much as I did at first, the sadness can creep up on you at any given time. That's very draining, which makes it necessary to eat. Coupled with the fact that I just returned to the gym yesterday, I've gained at least 10 pounds this month. Of course, keeping up the figure is really hard when you consider my next point...

Black people believe that fried chicken can cure grief. Understand, I love the stuff as much as everyone else, but if I tell you I was all clucked out by the time the funeral was over, I only say it 'cuz it's true! I guess you're supposed to be able to fly over the pain by filling up on Church's, Popeye's, KFC, and the like. While I appreciated folks being thoughtful enough to bring food to the house, the bird stopped flying after the third bucket.

People only get together when someone dies. Why is that? I was so glad to see everyone, but I couldn't help thinking that Granny would've enjoyed them, too. I know we all lead busy lives, but I think it's important for families to see each other on happy occasions, too.

I've said this before, but I'll say it again -- I have the best friends in the world. Some reached out to me when they found out, others sent stuff, and still others actually came to the funeral. Even though I've thanked them, I don't have the words to express how much their love and support has helped me during this time. And that's saying a lot for me! LOL

Stay tuned for my take on what NEVER to say to a grieving person...


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