Skip to main content

The Politics of Self-Disclosure

Now that I've decided to make blogging a way of life, do I still have a right to privacy? After all, it's my choice to allow you a glimpse into the inner workings of me. Do I therefore have the right to restrict that choice?

One could argue that if I don't want you to know, I shouldn't write about it. This is true. However, since I'm using this forum to exorcise my demons, it would stand to reason that I'd have to expose some uncomfortable truths about myself. Furthermore, my demons may directly -- or indirectly -- affect people some of the people who choose to read what I've written.

The question then becomes, "How much is too much?" Where am I to draw the line in this situation? For the most part, I've chosen not to use my name or the names of anyone involved. Is that enough? If you can recognize yourself in the details, are you then exposed like I am?

Where is all this coming from, you might ask? After careful deliberation on my part, I've decided to "go public," and tell people outside my inner circle of friends that I'm writing for public consumption. That means that I won't be able to control exactly who's reading this at any given time. Even though it was my choice, I'm not sure how comfortable I am with exposing that much of who I am for people I may not know.

On an entirely different note, I don't know how I feel about letting people see what I've written. For me, writing is very personal. Some people go to the riverside to lay down their burdens; I go to The Blank Page. It's the one place I'm able to unleash myself to be whomever and whatever I want. When I can't find anyone to talk to, The Blank Page is always there, and it's sacred to me. I can't remember the last time I let anyone read things from my collection. In fact, there are only a few people who know I even have one.

Of course, I'd be remiss if I didn't mention the real deal -- what if you don't like the way I express myself? Worse, what if you read my expressions and decide that I'm not the person you thought I was? What if you are so appalled by what you're seeing here that you either abandon our friendship or conclude that I'm not worth your time? I know I can't control your thoughts, but I do consider them.

Either way, we're here now, and we've made it this far. Let's just let it ride and see how far it takes us.


Popular posts from this blog

On Barack, the Nomination, and Black Love

I'm so excited about Barack Obama! I know I'm just joining the teeming millions when I say that, but I think something this big is worth repeating. Never before in the history of our country has a Black man been in a position to lead the free world, and it feels good. I'm so glad that I've lived long enough to see this day.

Beside the fact that Barack is a great candidate for the Democratic party, I'm moved by his relationship with Michelle. Not since The Cosby Show have we seen a successful Black couple who have a genuine and sincere love and respect for one another. What makes their relationship so special is that it's real -- not the product of someone's imagination.

I obviously don't know Michelle Obama, but I want to grow up to be just like her. I love the fact that she doesn't NEED Barack. She's strong, smart, and successful in her own right, yet secure enough to fall back and be supportive of her man. That's something that all y…

Out of Time

Time. You always think you have more...until you don't. I'm there.

I just left the doctor, where we discussed my fibroid. She said it was huge. So huge, in fact, that she couldn't get it all. If there's a need for another surgery, it'll be a hysterectomy.

I want babies. I want to be someone's mother. I also want to be someone's wife before I become someone's mother. And therein lies my dilemma.

It would be stupid for me to have a baby with My Teddy Bear. That's the reality of my life right now. But it would be even stupider to have a child with New Boo. Not only does he not want any more babies, he does't take care of the ones he already has. I would be an absolute idiot to attempt procreation with him. And as quiet as it's kept, I'm not interested in raising a child alone. I want my baby to have a mother AND a father.

So here I am, a 46-year-old woman who's run out of time.

My Personal Superhero

My Teddy Bear continues to prove that he loves me in ways I never thought about.

As I told you before, I've been dealing with health issues. It's not pretty at all. I won't go into details, but let's just say that it's messy and leaves me weak sometimes. Weaker than I'd ever want to admit, actually.

Anyway, a friend of mine was coming to visit and I was trying to get my house ready. I managed to clean my bedroom and the bathroom before MTB came over. All I had to do was get the living room and kitchen together. But my body wasn't cooperating at all. I was in so much pain that I laid it down.

I woke up the next morning in a complete mess from my issue. After I got up to clean myself up, he says to me, "Go lay down. I'm gonna finish up for you." I wanted to argue, but I couldn't because I was in too much pain.

That man cleaned my apartment. All of it. Swept AND mopped my floors and did all my dishes. And did it with a smile.

Just thinking ab…