Skip to main content

The Last Action Verb

It's hard to believe that Granny's been dead a month. I can't believe how slow time is moving. It feels like I'm fighting against a slow current, yet the water is rushing all around me. As I reflected on the somber anniversary, I realized that "die" is the last action verb. No matter what you've done or will do in your life, once you die, that's it. Every other verb used about you will be in the past tense.

I called my uncle to check on him. I worry about him now that Granny's gone. He said he was okay, but he misses her. I do, too. We talked about this process of grieving, and he gave me some helpful insight. He lost his 41-year-old wife of two years to cancer 14 years ago. He told me that it's the finality of the situation that hurts the most. When it finally dawns on you that the person you love won't ever be back, it can be a devastating experience.

My uncle also described my grandmother's final days. He said she was in a lot of pain. While she recognized him, her mind was confused. When he'd talk about my mom or my brother or me, she could recall the names but not the relationships. The last time he saw her, he knew she was on her way out. Even though he misses her, he's glad she isn't suffering anymore. It was hard to hear, but it seems like death was actually a blessing for Granny. Not only is she out of her misery, she's home with Jesus and those who went on before her. We're not sad for her -- we're sad for ourselves.

Now comes the hard part for us -- making sure that we don't allow the grief to bring us to our last action verb...


Angie said…
Last action word... I try not to think about it.
Here's what I don't want: Action words like worried, cried, hurt, and scared to precede that action verb, died. As long as I can get some other action words, like laugh, smile, love, kiss, hug, bought, relax, make love (I had to throw that in there), marry, and cash checks, in before that last action verb happens, I'll be all good.

**Yes, I know the way I wrote the above comment was a mess. Grammar and writing styel just ain't my friend tonight. But I think you get my point.**

Love ya,


Popular posts from this blog

On Barack, the Nomination, and Black Love

I'm so excited about Barack Obama! I know I'm just joining the teeming millions when I say that, but I think something this big is worth repeating. Never before in the history of our country has a Black man been in a position to lead the free world, and it feels good. I'm so glad that I've lived long enough to see this day.

Beside the fact that Barack is a great candidate for the Democratic party, I'm moved by his relationship with Michelle. Not since The Cosby Show have we seen a successful Black couple who have a genuine and sincere love and respect for one another. What makes their relationship so special is that it's real -- not the product of someone's imagination.

I obviously don't know Michelle Obama, but I want to grow up to be just like her. I love the fact that she doesn't NEED Barack. She's strong, smart, and successful in her own right, yet secure enough to fall back and be supportive of her man. That's something that all y…

In My Feelings...Again

There are times when I think I should change the name of this blog. Today I do NOT feel like a diva. I feel like a pitiful mess of a woman who's completely in my feelings.

I hate it when I get here.

I was minding my business last night when Juice hit me up. (Remind me to tell you about him later.) He wanted to hang out because we'd actually said we would. But he's he's only after one thing and I wasn't inspired enough to venture out to deal with him, so I told him I was in for the evening.

At the same time, New Boo asked me if I'd done my hair.

Let's be clear. My hair in and of itself isn't necessarily that big a deal. However, him asking me about it could indicate that I was on his mind and that he cared about me in more than a horizontal way. That would be awesome...but I know it's not true. Even though I engaged in conversation with him -- because that's what I do -- it was painful.

I am lonely. I want to be with someone who cares about me. I…

Yeah...About That...

I'm watching Scandal, and Mellie was talking about how lonely it is to be the president. She spoke about how men have a problem with regular powerful women, but being the leader of the free world comes with a chastity belt.
I get it.
I'm nowhere near the leader of the free world. I'm not even the leader of free lunch, but I get it. If men perceive you to have one more drop of power than they do, they can't handle it.
This is my life. At least it is when it comes to the men I've known.
It's not even like that for me.
I don't even have enough juice to get what I want at work.
But yet I'm seen as intimidating.