Skip to main content

The Last Action Verb

It's hard to believe that Granny's been dead a month. I can't believe how slow time is moving. It feels like I'm fighting against a slow current, yet the water is rushing all around me. As I reflected on the somber anniversary, I realized that "die" is the last action verb. No matter what you've done or will do in your life, once you die, that's it. Every other verb used about you will be in the past tense.

I called my uncle to check on him. I worry about him now that Granny's gone. He said he was okay, but he misses her. I do, too. We talked about this process of grieving, and he gave me some helpful insight. He lost his 41-year-old wife of two years to cancer 14 years ago. He told me that it's the finality of the situation that hurts the most. When it finally dawns on you that the person you love won't ever be back, it can be a devastating experience.

My uncle also described my grandmother's final days. He said she was in a lot of pain. While she recognized him, her mind was confused. When he'd talk about my mom or my brother or me, she could recall the names but not the relationships. The last time he saw her, he knew she was on her way out. Even though he misses her, he's glad she isn't suffering anymore. It was hard to hear, but it seems like death was actually a blessing for Granny. Not only is she out of her misery, she's home with Jesus and those who went on before her. We're not sad for her -- we're sad for ourselves.

Now comes the hard part for us -- making sure that we don't allow the grief to bring us to our last action verb...


Angie said…
Last action word... I try not to think about it.
Here's what I don't want: Action words like worried, cried, hurt, and scared to precede that action verb, died. As long as I can get some other action words, like laugh, smile, love, kiss, hug, bought, relax, make love (I had to throw that in there), marry, and cash checks, in before that last action verb happens, I'll be all good.

**Yes, I know the way I wrote the above comment was a mess. Grammar and writing styel just ain't my friend tonight. But I think you get my point.**

Love ya,


Popular posts from this blog

On Barack, the Nomination, and Black Love

I'm so excited about Barack Obama! I know I'm just joining the teeming millions when I say that, but I think something this big is worth repeating. Never before in the history of our country has a Black man been in a position to lead the free world, and it feels good. I'm so glad that I've lived long enough to see this day.

Beside the fact that Barack is a great candidate for the Democratic party, I'm moved by his relationship with Michelle. Not since The Cosby Show have we seen a successful Black couple who have a genuine and sincere love and respect for one another. What makes their relationship so special is that it's real -- not the product of someone's imagination.

I obviously don't know Michelle Obama, but I want to grow up to be just like her. I love the fact that she doesn't NEED Barack. She's strong, smart, and successful in her own right, yet secure enough to fall back and be supportive of her man. That's something that all y…

Out of Time

Time. You always think you have more...until you don't. I'm there.

I just left the doctor, where we discussed my fibroid. She said it was huge. So huge, in fact, that she couldn't get it all. If there's a need for another surgery, it'll be a hysterectomy.

I want babies. I want to be someone's mother. I also want to be someone's wife before I become someone's mother. And therein lies my dilemma.

It would be stupid for me to have a baby with My Teddy Bear. That's the reality of my life right now. But it would be even stupider to have a child with New Boo. Not only does he not want any more babies, he does't take care of the ones he already has. I would be an absolute idiot to attempt procreation with him. And as quiet as it's kept, I'm not interested in raising a child alone. I want my baby to have a mother AND a father.

So here I am, a 46-year-old woman who's run out of time.

My Personal Superhero

My Teddy Bear continues to prove that he loves me in ways I never thought about.

As I told you before, I've been dealing with health issues. It's not pretty at all. I won't go into details, but let's just say that it's messy and leaves me weak sometimes. Weaker than I'd ever want to admit, actually.

Anyway, a friend of mine was coming to visit and I was trying to get my house ready. I managed to clean my bedroom and the bathroom before MTB came over. All I had to do was get the living room and kitchen together. But my body wasn't cooperating at all. I was in so much pain that I laid it down.

I woke up the next morning in a complete mess from my issue. After I got up to clean myself up, he says to me, "Go lay down. I'm gonna finish up for you." I wanted to argue, but I couldn't because I was in too much pain.

That man cleaned my apartment. All of it. Swept AND mopped my floors and did all my dishes. And did it with a smile.

Just thinking ab…